HIMPower Magazine August 2015 | Page 23

I don’t want to blame anyone for how I feel.” There are times when God is like, “You need sleep Jessica, I am going to give you a desire to ask me for wisdom so I can explain things to you”--so I can hear his explanations. If my father could have tapped into God, he had a beautiful heart, but he took his rage out on my mother for all his disappointments. He kept a diary. He kept it in the attic. He was hurt from losing his job, for not feeling like a man, so much stuff. If someone could have really seen my dad, but they just kept looking at him. That’s another reason I want to do this program because we are not asking the right questions. I remember our private talks. He tried to protect me from everything. Out of all of his children, he would say, “Jessica, come go with me.” When he would go any where, it was always with me. My daddy use to fix cars. He would play the radio and would teach me how to paint the car. HimPower: Is there any one thing you wish you could change? If so, what would it be and why? Jessica: I would have Justin later, let him be potty trained at 2, let him experience all this stuff at the right time. But I really would have been a horrible person. I was crying every day. And they were advertising a lot about cradle babies, I was a single mother, and his father had left. The promise I made to God was, “If you let me sleep one night without crying, I promise to find out who you are.” That one night of sleep was the most peaceful in my life. The morning after, I was reminded of the vow that I made. I contacted our pastor and asked, “Is the church open?” I went and sat in church every single day for seven to eight months. I said, “Lord, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say, but I’m keeping my word, I made a promise.” That’s what changed the course of my life. Available on CD & Digital Download Jessica Reedy’s album, Transparent, is available at www.purityrecords.com or www.amazon.com www.pneupathforliving.com  23