tune enough to know what that voice is telling
you to do. My mother, I absolutely love her,
but I had to break free from her voice, too.
HimPower: What do you mean?
Jessica: When I lost my job. When they told
me, “Jessica you don’t look like you’re supposed to be here. I don’t think you should
be a technician.” I had to be at work at 6:00
o’clock. I was one of two black people and the
youngest technician. I was 19 and trying to
get to work and didn’t have any money. My
son was potty trained at 11 months because
I ran out of Pampers. I had given up singing. I
had lost my voice. My mother was afraid for
me, she saw me crying so many times when
my singing dreams had not been realized. I
grew up with singers, there are better singers
in my family than me. My mother wanted to
be a famous singer. She had her first child at
19. I had followed in her footsteps. She never
wanted this for me. I wanted a career in R&B.
20 HimPower August 2015
I remember one time I told my mother that
Usher’s Mom had contacted me about being
a back up. I had gone to college on a music
scholarship and it looked like I was going to
make it. When I got pregnant with my son, I
had no money, I dropped out of college and
I was on welfare. I was depressed, carrying
a baby by myself. I finally got a good job and
they fired me because I didn’t fit in. After they
told me I didn’t have a job and I was walking
out, my mother said, “You’ve been chasing this
dream. Now, it’s time for you to be a woman,
you need to stay here and find a job.” I said
to my mother, “What I feel and what you’re
saying they don’t make sense. Now you can
keep my son or I’m taking him with me. Either
way, I’m going.” It was like God was saying to
me, “She means well, she loves you. But listen
to me, go where I tell you to go and I will bless
you if you are obedient.” Listen to God’s voice
against every other voice that you trusted
since growing up. She is an amazing mother,