SPORT

by John Macdonald

Esteemed newspaper columnist , Peter FitzSimons , has lamented that these days we don ’ t produce colourful sporting commentators like the Benauds , Warrens , Comettis and Mays - and too right we don ’ t ! We certainly will never produce another Frank Hyde , and the game is not the same without him .

Mature rugby league listeners would have their Frank memories , and a personal favourite would be the irascible Frank . In olden times , Frank would sit at a table on the SCG sideline and call the match of the day .

There was the time his view was obscured by a ballboy , and he would yell , “ ballboy , get out of the way , ballboy get out of the way ’’.

There followed a tirade in which he said if you were a worker , digging a hole in George Street , you wouldn ’ t have to put up this sort of interference .

Frank also voiced one of the all-time great ads , ‘’ Things go better ( pause and deep intonation )... with Coke .’’

Enough to drive anyone to drink in celebration .

Frank had late , great international , Ken McCaffery , as his offsider covering reserve grade for a time , and when asked his opinion , Ken introduced some cultured English with , ‘’ Frank , I wholeheartedly concur .’’

Memories ! Tiger Black was Hyde ’ s rival at 2KY , but they were great mates .

The late , great Tiger once had a weekend morning show in which Redfern RSL was a sponsor and always received a glowing reference .

Prince Phillip was visiting Sydney at one time and Tiger offered , ‘’ and Duke , if you ’ re in Redfern ....’

There were always a myriad of Rex Mossop gems and it ’ s hard to offer one , but I will !

There was the time he asked his offsider Barry , ‘’ Yes Rex ’’ Ross : ‘’ Kon Demos , is he of Greek excavation , Barry ?’’

‘’ He ’ s from Wollongong , Rex ,’’ Ross replied . A double whammy if ever there was !

Ray Warren first made his name calling the midweek Amco Cup , and among many memorable calls was the time he hosted then Premier Neville Wran in the Leichhardt Oval box .

The respectful deference and reference to Neville became a lot more informal as the excitement mounted , perhaps in the hope a Balmain boy would score a try which would have brought a tear to Nev ’ s eye .

Ray was a newcomer back then but was continuing a tradition in which legends abounded across a wide range of sports .

There was Clarence the Clocker who gave his tips on the Idiot Box every Saturday morning .

Clarence would spruik at the beginning of each show , ‘’ OK girls , down with your mops and up with your skirts ,’’ before inviting them to sit down and receive his half-hour of racing tips .

Renowned racecaller Ken Howard also had a spot on the TV program .

I well remember watching one morning when the great man lit up a smoke , took a few puffs and said , ‘’ ugh , these cigarettes are stale ,’’ before throwing his smoke over his shoulder .

You don ’ t get golden TV moments like that anymore , but it was a time when any schoolboy could get a proper education . After Clarence ’ s segment , viewers could watch and listen to Andy Vincent calling the Harold Park trots replays . Later in the afternoon , we punters would turn on the radio and listen to a golden age of racecallers .

Ken Howard , Des Hoyusted and Geoff Mahoney ( the best judge ) calling the races in Sydney , Bert Bryant , Bill Collins and Joe Brown in Melbourne , and Vince Curry and Keith Noud in Brisbane .

A call of stars that can never be equalled !

Bryant had some gems , but his best was , ‘’ he ’ s seeing more tails than Hoffman ” when a horse tailed off behind the pack .

Bert was presumably a fan of a seldomseen opera , unrelated to Offenbach ’ s famous opus , in which there are no horses on stage .

Howard will be forever known for ‘’ it ’ s London to a brick on .’’

Most people are visited by genius at last once in their lives , offering a comment or action that is just right for the moment .

Ex-Australian test spinner , Kerry O ’ Keefe , continues his late career and enjoyable contributions as a commentator , but is cursed because he peaked too early .

I still chuckle whenever I recall Kerry ’ s ,

Three of the great men behind the microphone ; veteran racecaller Ken Howard , is visited in the call box by young tyro sportcasters , Johnny Tapp and Ray Warren . Both young men also went on to become legends at their craft . ‘’ when Fuifui Moimoi is going well , rugby league is going well .’’

Hits Norman May ’ s legendary cry , ‘’ gold , gold , gold for Australia ’’ out of any pool or park !

FitzSimons is right ; these modern coves are not in the same street as their predecessors .

Howard was an out-and-out champion , dead set freak , world-beater and legend . Johnny Tapp and Ian Craig were apprentice racecallers ( and future outand-out champions ) who came along when the great man was well into his career . But there was no matching the inimitable master , no matter how good they were , and they were good , way better than these modern-day imposters .

Yes , FitzSimons is right , and there ’ ll never be another Frank Hyde either .

One hopes Howard is looking down from the clouds and lighting a smoke above his beloved Nambucca Heads , and silently offering his regular closing , ‘’ If you can ’ t participate in sport , you be a sport .’’

Team

THE HILLS INDEPENDENT theindependentmagazine . com . au ISSUE 109 // JULY 2024 29