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4.4.2 Psychoeducation
Children who have been sexually abused have often been told by the perpetrator that “ doing this is normal ”, “ it happens in every family ”, “ this is good ”, or “ I am entitled to do this because I am a grown up and you are a child ”. This confuses the child . Being touched in their intimate parts feels intrusive , is secret , but appears to have adult approval . Address directly the child ’ s right to boundaries . Teach the child what behaviour by an adult is correct and incorrect , in relation to a child and a child ’ s body .
Teach the child what is a normal reaction when boundaries are violated . Many children who have been sexually abused are afraid of their own reactions . They want to be normal , like their friends . When they are easily startled , moody , have flashbacks , nightmares or similar reactions , they may feel there is something wrong with them . Stress that their reactions are normal and foreseeable . This often eases the child ’ s anxiety . You can approach this subject in different ways . It may be possible to speak directly of the child ’ s own experience , but you can also tell the story of an imagined child , or speak in general terms . Take the child ’ s age and emotional maturity into account .
EXERCISE
Exercise . My body .
Sexually abused children often have poor body awareness and cannot differentiate their feelings ( affect differentiation ). Drawing the body and asking a child to locate its feelings on the body can be one way to increase the child ’ s awareness and connectedness .
WORK WITH CHILDREN
This exercise can be used as a tool to talk about and differentiate feelings , or to educate about appropriate body boundaries .
I have a body
Instructions
Make an outline of a human body . ( Children below 5 years of age often enjoy it if you draw round their body as they lie on a large sheet of paper .)
Say : “ When we have strong feelings , we can usually feel them in our body . For instance , I feel as if my throat is being narrowed when I get scared . I feel a pain in my tummy when I am sad .
HELP AND ACTION
Remember the colours you associated with different places you visit every week ? Let ’ s colour your body in the same way . Where do you feel happiness ? Where do you feel sadness ? Anger ? Etc .”
Or : “ Where do like to be touched ? Where do not like to be touched ? Who is allowed to touch which parts of your body ? Imagine now that the body is the body of someone else . Which parts of it are OK for you to touch , and which parts should you not touch ?