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3.8 Understanding the way children think
Many abused children do not communicate what happened in a linear and coherent way . Imagination and magical thinking are often elements of the story they tell and can help the child to cope with its experiences . It is common to minimise what happened in order to sustain the good image of the offender and distance the abuse . Children think in an egocentric and practical way . They want to know what will happen next , and fear that things can be worse . Young people have fewer concepts and more limited understanding and may therefore find it difficult to understand complex situations . They are also extremely loyal to , and dependent on , their caregivers . They will often minimise the seriousness of the trauma to protect the relationship . Being abandoned by a loved one can be more threatening than telling the truth about what happened .
3.9 Two different memory systems
KEY TO KNOW
Our memory system is very complex . We have different forms of memory , which affects how we recall and remember experiences . Implicit memory stores perceptional and unconscious emotional memories . Explicit memory stores and recalls information and experiences that we can consciously recall at will . Experiences from early in life may be stored as implicit memories ; we may have no words for them , but they may still impact the way we interpret and experience and act in current situations . Sexual abuse during early childhood can be difficult to recall in a conscious way because it is stored in the implicit memory system . Early memories can be triggered by smells , sights and objects in the environment that are associated with the abuse . We often say that our body “ remembers ” what happened , even when no words are available to describe it . Trauma can be expressed through body sensations , body posture , play , games , behaviour , and in relationships .
” We often say that our body “ remembers ” what happened , even when no words are available to describe it . Trauma can be expressed through body sensations , body posture , play , games , behaviour , and in relationships .”
3.10 Survival strategies
Children who have been sexually abused find ways to adapt to cope with harmful situations . They display many symptoms that we can address , including attention problems , lack of trust , impulsivity , and withdrawal . Viewed from a survival perspective , many of these symptoms make sense . When a child faces a danger , or its needs are not met , this immediately triggers its alarm response . The child may be unable to regulate itself , may be unfocused , impulsive and out of reach . The alarm response becomes particularly sensitive in children who have already been traumatised .
Various survival strategies can protect children in such situations . Common responses include the attach response ( cry for help ), the flight response ( escape ), the fight response ( resist ), the freeze response ( remain immobile , try not to feel , wait for a reaction ), and the submission response ( give in , submit to remove the danger ).