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THE GOOD HELPER
2.1 The good helper
Aim . To identify the helper ’ s own resources , and additional skills and resources they might need .
Sexual abuse is a trauma experienced in a relationship and thereby differs from accidents or natural disasters . What has been destroyed in a relationship must be healed in a relationship . That is why the role of a helper is so crucial .
Helpers can act in many ways and have access to a wide range of tools . Sometimes it can be difficult to know what you can do in terms of helping . Wanting to help can create a weight of responsibility , the feeling that you are never doing enough . A helper should therefore set boundaries and decide what level of contribution is realistic . If you set no limits , it is easy to become overwhelmed ; the road to burnout is short .
REFLECTION QUESTION
Questions to reflect on
• For me , what does it mean to be a helper ?
• What personal experience do I bring to this work ?
• What parts of the work are difficult for me ?
• Where can I contribute , and where do I need to learn more ?
• What is the most valuable contribution I can make ?
It can help to discuss questions with colleagues . What are the qualities of a good helper ? What resources do helpers need to carry out the work they do ? What can helpers do to increase their skills and capacity ?
EXERCISE
Workshop exercise . Describe the qualities of a good helper
Draw a helper on the flipchart . Discuss the following questions . Write the participants ’ comments and conclusions on the flipchart .
• Do men and women helpers help in different ways ?
• How would you describe yourself as a helper ?
• What do you do when you meet a child who is overwhelmed by emotions ( sadness , shame , anger , anxiety , numbness )?
• What factors sometimes make it difficult to help such children ?
• Have you ever consciously used a human rights-based approach in your work ? Did it help ?