Anxiety is a funny thing , hey ? The constant inner-monologue , the crushing pressure inflicted by the smallest decisions , the inability to string two sentences together when placed outside of your comfort zone .
See the thing is , that ’ s not actually anxiety ... that ’ s just feeling anxious about something stressful . Remove that ‘ something ’ and if you don ’ t feel a difference , that ’ s what anxiety is .
I ’ m writing as someone who doesn ’ t suffer from anxiety , but for some time thought I did . Whether it was at work , uni or even with some of my hobbies , my greatest struggle was finding the magical ‘ off switch .’ I would finish a shift at work and sit down to dinner , but all I would think about was that tiny mistake I made that the boss picked up on . This would also occur during my study , where thoughts about an upcoming assignment or exam would race through my head all day .
For so long , I was convinced this was the reason my grades were so average and why I felt so mentally exhausted all the time .
Why I see my anxious behaviour as a good thing .
Something eventually clicked , and I started to harness that selfinduced pressure . I would keep a pen and paper next to my bed and write down all of the things I was worried about forgetting at 2am . I started handing in assignments a week early to avoid the pressure of missing a due date . Clicking CTRL + S on a Word doc a hundred times a study session became something I didn ’ t try and talk myself out of .
The closure and satisfaction I received from being a little obsessive compulsive at times and accepting my mental state did a world of good for my grades , for my work , and just made me feel a little bit more positive throughout the day . The worry and the stress didn ’ t go away completely , but I felt more in control .
Now in a full-time job , I know a lot can and should be said for work / life balance and I ’ m all for healthy habits . However , for me , to skim emails once during a day off or stay a little later rather than leave a task to the next day makes such a huge difference mentally . There ’ s just no cookie cutter way to work / study / live , so what I ’ m saying is , there can be ‘ method in your madness ’.
Don ’ t feel the need to change your method if it works for you … embrace it !
If you feel you are experiencing anxiety or depression : visit the Beyondblue website .