The doctors would say she should be in pain and had prescribed different types of pain medication, but she did not. My sister and I became stronger and closer than ever before.
At this point, we were not just her children, we were now her caregivers, one of the hardest jobs ever. My sister and I both work two or more jobs to pay for sitters, medication, clothing (because her weight fluctuated), and food for the sisters so they did not have to leave her to go get them something to eat. We also provided some of her medical supplies, because Medicaid did not pay for certain supplies, and if they did, it was very limited. We know a lot of people were on the outside looking in, thinking it was easy because we were in our careers, but failed to see or understand we still had our own families to care for. In the beginning, my mother stated she did not want us to do certain things, even on her best of days, she would say she did not need a sitter. However, for a piece of mind, we still provided her with the security of knowing she had someone with her at all times.
One particular night upon putting her to bed, the first time I saw her cry since my brother’s death, she said to my sister and me, “take care of yourselves, no one should have to go through this”. I knew right then she appreciated what we were doing for her. Shortly after that night, she had a seizure that forever changed her course of care. She went through rehab to help with strengthen and ambulation and did well. But once she returned home from the hospital, she became weaker and stopped walking. She later went back to the hospital and her doctor recommended a long term care facility for therapy because Medicaid would not pay for in home therapy. My mother was still able to make decisions at this point and stated she was okay with it. She went to a long term care facility and was there exactly nine days and she passed away, November 16, 2013, on my father’s birthday. I could not believe her journey had ended.
I always stated I could not see or live my wife without her. Today, I live with her more in my spirit than ever before. During her breast cancer journey, we were able to share so much. At the time, I did not realize what was being given to me, but to this day, God still grace me with her presence in more ways than one. This article is an example of that.
There are times when I am discouraged and dismayed and God allows me to tell her story, her strength, and her determination. When this happens, it confirms that she is giving me the strength to continue to carry on in my career as a nurse, mentor, and educator. Her journey is confirmation that the unimaginable does happen. It happened to her. Twenty four hours to almost two years. I am grateful to have been the daughter I was to her. If I had to go back and do it all over all again, there is nothing I could have done better. The sacrifices made were God’s blessings for her care. I am blessed, and is continued to be blessed, and want to continue to be a blessing to others. Mae A. Bennett life journey did not end. It continues on to this day, in my everyday living.