HEALTHY KIDS · NOVEMBER 2018
COMMUNICATION
IS THE KEY TO STAYING
CONNECTED TO YOUR CHILD
S
ome parents find it difficult to talk
with their teenagers. Once children
hit the teen years, they go through
many changes. If you establish a
strong foundation when they are
younger, however, these changes should not
affect your relationship. When my brother and I were in elementary
school, my mother would have a “merienda"
(afternoon snack) waiting for us when we got
home from school. Those afternoon snacks gave
us opportunities to talk to my mother and it got
us in the habit of sharing our lives with her.
Communication with your children should
begin before they can even talk. Babies will
respond when parents talk to them and at a
very young age can recognize the different
tones in a parent's voice. When you share
your life with your children when they're little,
they will continue to share their lives with
you as they get older. If you don’t open up
the lines of communication at an early age, it
will be difficult to do so once your children
become teenagers. She would sit there and listen to our stories
as if they were the most interesting anec-
dotes she had ever heard. At first, our stories
were silly, but as we got older we began to
discuss important issues with her.
Parents cannot expect their teens to share
their lives with them if they are not in the
habit of doing so. You can't force information
out of your children, and if your kids aren't
used to talking to you, they will feel like you
are invading their privacy, which is why it is
essential that parents become involved in
their children's lives at an early age.
Listen to your kids' music, watch their
television programs, and get to know their
friends. These are all things that will give
you an insight into their lives.
Parents should never bombard their chil-
dren with questions. Instead, they should let
the conversation flow in order to gain their
children's trust. The more time you spend
with your kids, the more comfortable they
will be, and the more willing they will be to
open up and share their lives with you. And,
although it may be difficult, parents should
never act shocked by something their
children tell them, no matter what feelings
are provoked inside. Also, don't interrupt
when your children are talking. Always let
them finish what they are saying and never
repeat anything your children tell you. The
day your children feel they cannot trust
you, it will be almost impossible to regain
their confidence. Learn to listen and always
treat them with respect.
If they want their words to "stick," parents
shouldn't lecture. Keep in mind that it is
quality—not quantity—that is important
when talking to your children. Pick and
choose your words wisely. When you need
to get a message across, stop talking when
you feel your children have understood your
point. If you keep talking, you might negate it.
There are times that it is best to keep silent
and wait for a better opportunity to make
your point.
MARIA LUISA SALCINES.
Maria Luisa Salcines is a freelance writer and certified
parent educator with The International Network
for Children and Families in Redirecting Children's
Behavior and Redirecting for a Cooperative Classroom.
Follow her on Twitter @PowerOfFamily or contact her
at her Web site at www.redirectingchildrenrgv.org.
12 HEALTHY MAGAZINE