HEALTHY FOOD
In closing…
TOOL 1: SURFER SELF-TALK
I want you to start to talk to yourself aloud in moments of stress and intensity.
Sometimes if you just say the right things to yourself, you can calm yourself
down – even when your body's not convinced yet. It will have an effect that's
similar to hearing the words of another person who comforts you. Basically,
play the role of a surfer with your words: the chill, cool friend who smiles and
gives you a nice neck rub and who's never in a rush when they're late, the one
who looks upon this project as an entirely doable thing. Phrases like, "Chill."
Or "Dude you got this," or, "Let's get you to the sauna, buddy." You could also
picture Brad Pitt from True Romance.
TOOL 2: MAKE A PACIFIER
Stress-eating could just as easily be drugs, so a pacifier in this tool means a
replacement soothing mechanism. Something in your biology makes you
more susceptible to food – so to support yourself I want you to create a new
and healthy addiction. By that, I mean to take up something that scratches
a compulsion – no, not smoking or drug use. Something like blasting music
while jumping up and down or filling your shopping cart without clicking
"purchase" or even yogic breathing while fake-smiling, with your hand you're
your heart. But something else that creates a similar chemical release to fatty
foods.
Your first step is to figure out a replacement in a more casual circumstance,
like in a controllable and mildly stressful time, and using it. For example,
after spending an hour in traffic. And yes, all of them will feel ridiculous and
inconvenient and will take consistent use to feel natural – just don't stop until
it sticks in your memory.
TOOL 3: ZAG THE STRESS RITUAL
With soothing mechanisms – especially addictive ones, it's all about slowing
down the time between the trigger and the reaction – so that you can choose
anything new to replace it. The more you can delay yourself, the better your
chances will be of avoiding the soothing mechanism (stress-eating). It has
nothing to do with food – everything to do with a machine-mode-like shutting
off of anxiety. So in short, this tool is basically to do ANYTHING to "zag" your
reaction: whatever it is, head in an entirely novel direction. Generally, you may
go by the drive-thru by your freeway exit and eat on your way home. To ZAG
in this ritual, you might turn around and go to a mini-golf course and play a
round or two. Or something like make a wish in the park fountain. ANYTHING
NEW.
The fear and anxiety that come from stress usually distract you from what
you're doing with your body. You can disempower the physical rituals you
enact by interrupting them. Although it never feels like it, everything you
do is a choice. Every action you take is a decision. It's a whole lot easier to
change that decision at the start of your stress reaction. Stepping back and
recognizing you need to hit the red "zag" button and get off that ride, asap.
TOOL 4: ESCALATOR RIDE
This is a reference to the movie Soap Dish when Sally Field's character (a soap
actress) would take a ride on the mall escalator to feel more confident and like
herself. As soon as people recognized her, they'd flock to ask for autographs
– restoring her faith in herself. I want you to do something similar in that it's a
way to grow your self-command abilities. You can enhance your connection
to your power by practicing things that you know you are good at. Alternately
you can practice something expressive or creative, that is purely for the sake of
art – for example, music, dance, drawing, or cooking. Maintaining this practice
will enable you to stay more in control of your smartest actions when you're
stressed out. Another way to grow your power is to try new things that are
intimidating to you.
TOOL 5: USUAL SUSPECT
LINEUP
This is a tool for dismantling the
confusing mess of stress. Whatever
your feelings are, name them in
physical form. All your rambling fears
and irrational worries, write them
down on a piece of paper, and they
immediately lose part of their ability
to control you on a subconscious
level. If you're in the car and can't
write, describe them aloud and call
out their place in your physical body.
So if you feel tightness in your chest,
become aware of that, name it, and
start to relax into that part of your
body. The point is to expose the
thoughts and feelings, externally, and
remove them from your subconscious
so that you can see them for what
they are: thoughts, feelings and
nothing more. This is how they lose
potency.
TOOL 6: ROOM HYGIENE
Similar to the practices of those who
have insomnia, I want you to practice
room hygiene that keeps very strict
rules for where you eat. You're going
to make it difficult for yourself to
enact unconscious habits by creating
rituals that are very conscious. I also
want you to create food hygiene or
a set of rules around where and how
you will feed yourself. Basically, you
are going to set up a routine with very
specific rules and rituals – for food
and work.
For a start, you are not to have food in
your office or car. If you have another
place you typically soothe via eating,
this too will be a no-food zone from
this point forth. All of this is to give
you some safety zones: a buffer when
you're in the headspace that could
lead to a food soothing loop. Food
hygiene will be similar in that I want
you to make the meals you consume
ritual and special. During stressful
times, eat something memorable,
exciting, and colorful for meals and
only eat at a dinner table with real
silverware. Pay attention to your food
and chew each bite with clarity and
focus. If you're eating with someone
else, describe the flavors of the food
to one another in detail. Leave work
out of the conversation while food is
involved.
You come first. Start acting like it.
Even when deadlines are pressing or
work is competitive, you need to have
a structure to take care of yourself.
Health and achievement are not
mutually exclusive. You've got to be
deliberate and intentional about self-
care: create a strict routine that keeps
your chemicals balanced. First things
first: your stability is paramount.
Because from a place of health,
you can be much more efficient at
work. Rational = happy. When you're
balanced physically, you have more
energy – you get better sleep which
means you're clearer-headed, which
means more effective at work.
I know from where you are now,
that sounds easier said than done
– but that's an illusion. You get to
decide what to make a priority, and
if you begin making this a goal, I
believe you will find that things in
your life will organize themselves
accordingly. It's pretty amazing how
much of the resistance and analysis
is unnecessary. We get in our own
way and make things seem like
they're so much harder than they
are in practice. Just like we create
more stress for ourselves as a way
to reassure ourselves we're trying
– meanwhile, we're not helping the
output with any of it. Ask yourself
first, what do I need to do to take care
of myself? How can I support myself –
emotionally, right now?
When it comes to things that stress
you out – remember to embrace
what is up to chance. It's not all up
to you, and that's a good thing. Often
the answers will come from outside
your range of focus. You can never
predict the futu re – fear is the worst
part of life. All you can do is your best,
and you need your reflective brain
for that, which cannot be accessed
via stress. Try to take breaks from
whatever project you are dealing
with, because you might find that
you have access to better solutions
because of it. Kind of like when you
try hard to remember something, and
it only arrives when you stop forcing
it. As a rule, go easy on yourself and
remember to let go of what isn't what
you wanted it to be. Every experience
is a gift, and whatever happens, you
will come out of this a better person.
As long as you try your best and you
don't repeat the same mistakes,
you've won.
Sarah May Bates
Founder of Yay With Me a hub of
practical tools to create change in
yourself, from Podcaster/Author,
Sarah May Bates, @sarahmaybee
HEALTHY RGV / 33