HEALTHY I
EMOTIONALLY
RAISING
HEALTHY KIDS · JANUARY 2019
KIDS
1. ENCOURAGE
FEELINGS WITH
RULES.
Children need to
have the freedom
to feel what they
feel, whether or not
we like what they're
feeling. They need to learn
the appropriate emotional reactions to
go with life's circumstances.
CHILDREN NEED TO HAVE
THE FREEDOM TO FEEL
WHAT THEY FEEL.
parents show their children how to identify
feelings and how to express them.
Here's how parents can help their children
identify and label their feelings, regulate
them, and respond appropriately. For
example, if your child has a dog that dies,
grieving should be allowed. If your son gets
hit at school, he's allowed to feel angry,
but he is not allowed to hit back. Children
must learn that when they express feelings,
there are certain rules that have to be
followed.
2.
DON’T
ALWAYS TRY
TO FIX YOUR
CHILD’S
FEELINGS.
Many times,
children need to be
given the freedom to
feel emotions without being encouraged
to change them. As parents, we can
watch our children experience hard
emotions like grief, anger or bitterness, and
we want to change those feelings for them.
Sometimes we are so uncomfortable with
our kids' feelings that we communicate to
them that they shouldn't feel what they're
feeling.
IT'S INCREDIBLY
IMPORTANT FOR US NOT
TO DO THIS, RATHER
SUPPORT OUR CHILDREN
SO THEY FEEL SAFE TO
EXPRESS THEIR EMOTIONS
AND NOT FEEL THAT WE
ARE TRYING TO FIX THEM.
3. DON’T
TELL YOUR
CHILDREN
THAT THEY
SHOULDN’T
FEEL A
CERTAIN WAY.
Nothing makes children
feel more frustrated than when their
feelings are discredited. Some of you
may have memories of growing up when
a parent told you that you shouldn't
feel a certain way because it was dumb
or stupid i.e., "Why would you be so
upset over such-and-such? That's such
a silly thing to be upset about." It's very
important for parents to affirm their
recently spoke with
psychiatrist and good
friend of mine Dr.
Joshua Straub about
the importance of
raising emotionally healthy
kids.
It's not necessarily a topic we
parents dwell on intentionally,
but it is vitally important to be
aware of the do's and don’t’s so
your child can develop into an
emotionally healthy adult.
children's feelings, let them express their
emotions, and never tell them that they
should or shouldn't feel a certain way.
They feel what they feel and we can't
regulate that.
YOUR CHILD'S EMOTIONS
ARE REAL AND SHOULD
BE ACKNOWLEDGED
WITHOUT TRYING TO BE
CHANGED.
Parents may disagree with a child's
emotion, but when done aloud, the child
is hearing that he is wrong to have those
feelings and, in turn, doubts his ability
to react in a healthy matter. Let your
children react and if you believe they
are being unreasonable, you can revisit
their reaction a week or so after the
fact and talk through it with them when
they are calm. Go back over the situation
and ask if they think their reaction was
appropriate. Ask them questions about
how they think they should respond in
future, rather than telling them how to
feel or react.
Children will mature in their feelings
and learn to regulate their reactions
over time. Often, an overreaction is
simply a sign of immaturity, which they
will outgrow. In the meantimemy, be
patient while guiding them through this
labyrinth that makes us human.
By Meg Meeker, MD
11 HEALTHY MAGAZINE