HEALTHY KIDS · OCTOBER 2018
6
MAYBE THEY ’ RE JERKS .
I say that in all honesty ! Jerks reject cool people all the time . Look at the Oscars ! Some of the most talented musicians and filmmakers have been snubbed countless times . “ It ’ s a Wonderful Life ” was a flop at the box office . It ’ s only on TV during the holidays because it was free to license . I look at this as a blessing in disguise .
4
CHECK YOUR PERSPECTIVE .
When it comes to something you really wanted , rejection feels like the end of all joy . This is what being blindsided by pain does to you — it makes you believe everything sucks and that it will be that way forever . Don ’ t trust anything you think when you ’ re chemically depressed ! There will be a day not too far away that you forget this pain ever existed . Know that it ’ s probably going to suck for a while and your job is just to keep going through the motions and practicing diligent self-care . Your life will have great times and really crappy times and that is part of what it means to be alive . Know that others are feeling exactly as you are , right now , and if you ’ re suffering right now , close your eyes and send them love . This isn ’ t your definition . It ’ s just something that happened in the epic that is your beautiful and varied life . For a bit of inspiration , look to those in your family ( or history ) for the rejections they overcame . Rejection happens to everyone worth knowing and has throughout time .
5
TIMING IS A MAJOR PART OF LIFE .
Do you know the first person who opened a supermarket in the UK ? My grandfather , after he visited the US and saw they were everywhere . But it bombed because no one was ready for it . If you tried and failed , it doesn ’ t mean that the next time won ’ t be just right . Remember that the factors that influence your life are infinite . Think of this as a series of decisions that created a cause and effect , all of which lead you to this point right now . The next time you step up to the plate in love or career , it might be just right for the stars to align .
The most important thing I can tell you about rejection is to use it as a moment in time to focus inward and build yourself . You have to have a love and faith in the value of yourself and who you are that extends beyond what anyone else says or thinks . If this were an award you didn ’ t get , care enough about your craft that you continue to do it anyway because popular opinion isn ’ t necessarily good . And at the end of the day , all you ever have is yourself .
The most valuable asset you can foster is your best self . That includes your voice , your beliefs , your gifts , and giving them the best of your abilities . What someone else thinks is their issue — not yours . When you act at your best , let the rest go . There will be times in your life when you ’ ll be the only person in the room who ’ s on your side — and I can tell you first hand , it ’ s a profound reminder to stay true to yourself . If you give your all , you have honored yourself , and everything outside of that is out of your control . Recognize that limit and accept it with peace .
Everything is temporary . The value of all things will shift . The beliefs of those outside of you are theirs and not your own . It ’ s not your job to read minds or become someone else ’ s “ perfect .” It ’ s your job to invest in yourself , respect yourself , and try your best . Make that your bar for success . If someone didn ’ t want you , it ' s their loss .
Focus on being in the right with yourself , knowing you did your best and being proud of that fact . Once you really accept and KNOW what is out of your control , all the rejection gets a lot easier , because it is what it is — someone else ’ s opinion , a mismatch that must be mourned , a coincidence that does not define you as a person . I , for one , believe that experiences arrive in our lives to teach us things that we need for something more important in the future . So whatever rejection you ’ re suffering , give yourself the space to heal and then get back up again . Your life is just as worthy and beautiful as it was before this happened . Focus on the general direction of where you want to go .
By Sarah May Bates
23 HEALTHY MAGAZINE