MOMS , THIS IS WHY YOU ’ VE ALREADY FAILED AT YOUR YOUR NEW YEAR ’ S RESOLUTION
HEALTHY KIDS · MAY 2018
MOMS , THIS IS WHY YOU ’ VE ALREADY FAILED AT YOUR YOUR NEW YEAR ’ S RESOLUTION
We , mothers , tend to put a lot of expectations on ourselves throughout the year , especially around the time we are setting goals and resolutions . Chances are for many of you that you have already failed at whatever parenting resolution you made .
WHEN YOU SET THE BAR AT PERFECTION , YOU WILL ALWAYS MISS IT .
For instance , maybe your goal was to stop yelling at your kids , but a few days ago your child frustrated you , and you yelled at him . Alternatively , maybe your goal was to make lunch for your children every day so they wouldn ’ t eat cafeteria food , but then you had a busy morning and rushed everyone out the door , without their lunches .
We want the best for our kids , so we set high goals , but this only sets us up for failure . When you set the bar at perfection , you will always miss it . The truth is , your kids don ’ t want perfection from you ; they just want you .
WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE ABOUT ME ? The minute you step into your child ’ s presence , she is scouring you to try to find out what you think about her . Are you happy , stressed , frustrated ?
Your child then internalizes her read on you . For example , if you smile at her when she walks in the room , she will interpret that as , “ My mom smiled . She ’ s glad I ’ m here . She thinks I ’ m great ; therefore , I am great .”
Be aware of your presence around your child . Whether positive or negative , it is telling her what you believe about her and that is telling her who she is .
I have experimented with this in my medical practice . When I ’ m seeing a patient , I ’ ll ask him , “ Tell me who loves you ?” Since the parent is in the room with us , I ’ m curious about what he ’ ll say . You know what answer I get most of the time ? “ Well , I know my mom and dad probably do because they have to .”
WHAT ARE YOUR HOPES FOR ME ? Most kids don ’ t think about their lives after 25 . As children and adolescents , they live as if the years after 25 will never come . That ’ s why they ’ re running around wanting to do anything they want all the time .
They need you , who understands that there is a lot of life after 25 , to instill hope in their future . Talk about it with them . Tell them the hopes you have for them . That they will be loving . That they will be disciplined adults who have self-control so they can enjoy life . This will get them living and thinking beyond the here and now and give them hope for their futures .
THE TRUTH IS , YOUR KIDS DON ’ T WANT PERFECTION FROM YOU ; THEY JUST WANT YOU .
Let go of the resolutions you are already failing . If you only get these three questions right , you ’ ve won this year as a mother and , more importantly , you ’ ve given your child the best start in life that will launch him to success and happiness .
By Meg Meeker
I would like to encourage you not to set any strict parenting resolutions this year and instead focus on three questions .
I ’ ve been a pediatrician for over 30 years . In this time I ’ ve realized that all children , no matter their age , have the same three questions about their parents . If you can address these questions , you will set yourself up to be an excellent parent this year .
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ME ? Kids need to know that you love them every hour of every day . Does that sound excessive ? It ’ s not .
Moms , we are so used to doing things for our kids ( making them lunches , signing them up for activities ) in order to show them we love them when really , they need to hear us say it . Again and again and again .
6 HEALTHY MAGAZINE