HEALTHY KIDS · APRIL 2017
3. IF SOMETHING IS CONVENIENT FOR YOU ON ANY LEVEL, YOU ARE THE WORST.
There's this crazy idea that we moms are supposed to be constantly miserable for our kids' sake. Gotta
poop? You better find a way to do it with the baby strapped to you because if you set him down and let
him fuss while you do any type of nature-induced activities, he will become a murderer.
We aren't allowed to take a nap, get some sleep, eat a meal, or sip a cup of coffee without feeling guilty
about it. The idea of putting ourselves first for even two minutes is horrible. When did this start??
Oh mama, take a deep breath, stop reading those guilt-building articles floating around on Facebook,
stop making decisions out of guilt and fear, and just do your day the way YOU would do it if you didn't
feel so completely judged!
4. RESPOND TO EVERY NEED YOUR CHILD
HAS OR THEY WILL BECOME 1) A PSYCHO
MURDERER, 2) STUPID, OR 3) UNHAPPY.
*GAAAAAASSSP!!!!*
Listen to me, yo. Your child's happiness is not your
burden to bear. I know that goes against everything you
see out there in cyber article land, but it's true.
I'm not saying to do this thing like the mom in A Child
Called It, I'm just saying why are we all acting like it's our
job to make our kids happy? Our job is to be a fierce
protector against evil, and to show our kids how to be
good humans; it is not to make sure every heart desire
is met because they mi ght feel unloved and become
promiscuous or horrible evildoers. Puh-lease.
I think one of the best things we can do for our kids
is teach them how to deal with reality. Real life isn't
everything you wanted all the time at no cost to you; it's
not constant happiness with no bad days. You don't have
to slap yourself and jump out of bed to get your kids
breakfast at 5 AM. You can tell them to get their booties
back in bed until a normal hour that other homosapiens
get up. And guess what? Doing something good for you
and hard for them isn't going to make anyone the next
Ted Bundy.
5. CONSISTENCY IS KEY.
No, it's not. I mean in discipline and house rules, sure, I think it is.
But somehow we all started to believe that we need to give our kids
a solid, consistent life to give them stability and confidence. We
started to tell ourselves that we have to have all the answers and
know what we're doing in order to be good parents.
You know what? I think one of the greatest gifts I've given my kids is
inconsistency. We've moved eight times in seven years, and one of
those moves was cross-country. We've left for Disneyland at 9 PM
and stayed till midnight. We've gotten in the car to get donuts and
ended up staying out all day long in our pajamas, just driving around
and listening to indie rock. We've made plans and broken them
because of financial setbacks. We've put our daughter in public
school and pulled her out mid-year to homeschool her, then put
her back in public school again the next year.
Sometimes life happens, and it's good for kids to roll with the waves
and learn to be cool with it. I see a quiet confidence in my kids
when life gets crazy that I don't see in other kids, and I love that
it's a result of living life as a family and not shielding them from the
normal ups and downs.
Bottom line, mama…
you do you. Don't
do what anyone
else calls good
motherhood. You
were chosen out of
every woman in the
entire world, of every
generation that ever
existed to be the
mom of your kids.
You've got what it
takes to rock this.
9 HEALTHY MAGAZINE
ALLIE CASAZZA is The
Purposeful Housewife.
She is all about helping
you purge the clutter
that's clogging your joy,
rediscover the purpose
in your days, and live with
intention.
@thepurposefulhousewife.