conquered death! Now he lives within us and he surrounds us. To truly come home to ourself is to totally lose ourself in Jesus. “We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.” 2 Cor 4:10
Don’t be confused or dismayed. This does not mean we lose our identity, our interests, or our particularities. We become more of ourself as we are hidden in Christ. I know it seems oxymoronic. God’s ways are not our ways. Trust me for a bit and think through the beauty and wonder of reality.
I’m going to be honest with you or at least as honest as I am able. Bringing our deepest desire of being seen and loved by God is hard and scary. We cannot control God.
In fact, we can’t even attach our desire to him because he is not an object to be attached to. So there is always an element of danger. Whereas, if I attach my desire to food or work or affirmation, I can control it, or at least I fool myself into thinking I can… for a little while.
According to May, though, I won’t be in control for long. Once I attach to an object, I bond with it and become its slave. All my energy of desire is spent on getting my desire satisfied. Do you see how this is true and makes idolators of us? Our attachments force us to worship (because they are out of our control) the objects of our addiction and that keeps us from freely and wholly worshipping God, the only one who can love us the way we so earnestly desire.
If we answer God’s call in the moments of clarity and space to transformation with even a tiny, “Yes,” then our struggle becomes consecrated. This means we have dedicated our struggle to God. I love what May says about consecration: “But in consecration we dedicate our struggle to something more; consecration is our assent to God’s transforming grace, our commitment homeward.” Then we are leaning on Christ and relying on his grace to transform our life and renovate our souls.
“Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:5-6