Everywhere that Jesus went, everyone felt loved and invited (except maybe the religious leaders). His invitation to join him and follow him is what led to changed beliefs and behavior. Not the opposite. I couldn’t do anything but cry and ask for forgiveness, confessing that I had been wrong to make him feel unloved and unwelcome. “I am so sorry. Will you forgive me?” And to my great astonishment, Quiche forgave me and told me, “You know, no one has ever asked me to forgive them before. I have been through a lot of therapy and it has helped me a good deal, but where I get stuck is with forgiveness. I don’t know how to do it. There is no way to forgive people that I have found except through religion.”
And that opened the door to talk about God and faith and forgiveness and to have a relationship. I am happy to report that I went to England again this year (a year after the wedding) and enjoyed a 10 day trip with a couple of my daughters and Quiche. Quiche taught me so much about forgiveness.
So that is my story. I hope you don’t get bogged down by the issues surrounding my offense against Quiche or the rightness/wrongness of the marriage but instead you see that forgiveness is beautiful and powerful. Today we aren’t looking at how to forgive or what forgiveness is not, both very good topics, which I have written about before in an earlier magazine. We’re not talking about where forgiveness can safely occur or the health benefits of forgiveness. Again, these are all great topics and worthy of thought, but today we are focusing on what it is and why we can grant it.
The Big Invitation
I have heard teaching on forgiveness that didn’t really make me feel like forgiving. It was more like, “Jesus said it so you better do it or he won’t forgive you.” Ok, so I get it. I forgive out of obedience. Great. Sounds good. But do you know what he did to me? Do you know what I have lost? And now the burden of
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An Invitation to Forgive Continued...
forgiveness is also on me? How is that fair?
Honestly, that isn’t totally wrong, but it also isn’t the full picture either. It actually makes forgiveness a contractual sort of transaction rather than a relational gift. And there is the risk of thinking, “If I do good, God will bless me.”
Jesus’ first disciples asked him, their Rabbi, to teach them how to pray. His response is what we lovingly refer to as “The Lord’s Prayer.” You might remember his words out of Matthew 6. The prayer Jesus taught was almost exactly like a collection of well-used prayers of the time, even pre-dating Jesus by a few decades, that good Jews prayed daily, called the Amidah. It was as if Jesus was saying, “Yes, you know how to pray. Just pray like you always do, Our Father who is in heaven…” Except for one difference. What Jesus added was “And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” And after Jesus taught the prayer, he said, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” So this was the big deal— forgiveness— the new thing Jesus taught.
Why Was It Such a Big Deal?
God created humans to partner with him in ruling earth. Adam and Eve were to co-reign with God in bringing goodness, keeping peace, and tending the earth. But they chose to go their own way. So God tries again with Abraham. He wants to make a people who reflect his character and who he can trust to co-reign. They are to be a nation of priests who represent and act on behalf of God so that all the world can be blessed through them. Then God calls Moses out of the people of Abraham.
God revealed himself to Moses in Exodus