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While it’s great to be happy, this
isn’t always going to be the case.
It’s okay to try to cheer them up,
but allow them to express how they
truly feel.
4. Decisions.
Decisions
Individuals who suffer from codependency often have trouble making
their own decisions. They may ask
numerous people for advice and fail
to make decisions based on what’s
best for them. Encourage your
children to make age-appropriate
decisions so they gain a sense of
independence. Let them know
they’re okay even if they make a
mistake; help them realize everyone
makes mistakes. Offer your input,
but allow your children to make the
final decision if the issue is appropriate for their age.
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Make sure your
children know
they are loved
and treasured
and that they’re
worthy of your
attention.
5. Express Yourself
Codependent No
More: Five Tips for
Raising Independent
Kids
Let your kids learn everyone is
‘perfectly imperfect’
By Annette Racond, Staff Writer
Codependency is a series of
learned behaviors that can adversely
impact one’s life. Codependent
parents have a tendency to raise
codependent kids. Here are five tips
to help your children grow up to be
independent thinkers.
1. Let Them Speak
Children are naturally inquisitive, so encourage them to ask
questions. Family secrets promote
fear and self-doubt. That’s why it’s
important to be honest and open
so your children feel their concerns
and questions are being candidly
addressed. Children who are afraid
to raise questions to their families
tend to be fearful and have issues
with self-doubt. It’s important for
young adults to feel they can voice
their feelings and points of view and
have their questions addressed.
2. Show Respect
Be a good listener when your children need someone to talk to about
their day. Show respect. Don’t criticize or ignore a subject that your
child wants to address. If you don’t
like a certain behavior, let your child
know it’s not a reflection of who
they are. Make sure the child understands you don’t like the behavior,
but it’s not who he or she is as a
person. Let your children know they
are worthwhile and deserving – and
we’re all perfectly imperfect.
3. Allow for
Authenticity
Give your children permission
to express their feelings whether
they’re happy, sad or mad. Let them
know it’s okay to experience a wide
range of feelings and emotions and
that this is a normal part of life.
Make sure your children know
they are loved and treasured and
that they’re worthy of your attention. Express your own feelings. Be
there for them on happy days or
when they’re feeling blue. Let them
know you think the world of them –
because you do.
About the Author
Annette Racond is a Certified Health
Coach who has had her word published in The New York Times, The
Miami Herald, Chicago Sun-Times,
and New York Newsday, along with
other major publications.