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June 2016 | Read this issue and more at www.healthandwellnessmagazine.net |
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PARENTING FOR WELLNESS
Fostering a Good Relationship With Your Grandchildren
Put in quality time, do fun things together
By Sarah Brokamp, Staff Writer
A relationship
with a grandparent can be
one of the most
important and
special relationships for a child.
There is a certain guidance and wisdom only a grandparent can give, a
unique bond a child cannot achieve
with his or her parents. Because
they are from a completely different
generation than both the grandchild
and the parents, grandparents offer
a great deal of interesting input.
There are things you have experienced that no one else in your
grandchild’s life has. You have the
opportunity to share fascinating
stories and knowledge because you
have experienced so much in your
life while the child’s is just beginning. Parents can only offer this to
a certain degree. Because this bond
is so special, it is important to not
only cherish but maintain it.
As a grandparent, you do not
share the same expectations or jobs
as the parent. Discipline received
from a grandparent is different from
discipline received from a parent.
There are some boundaries that
can’t be breached when punishing
a grandchild. The parent takes the
main role in discipline. If someone
other than the parent disciplines
him, the child is less likely to take
the punishment seriously or may
even resent someone else trying to
parent him. This does not mean,
however, that you can’t punish or
discipline your grandchild when
necessary. Be aware of their feelings
and ask yourself, “Is this something
his/her parent should be doing?”
As a grandparent, your main duty
should be offering outside support
and guidance in the right direction.
Knowing how much influence
Being a grandparent is
a gift for both you and
your grandchildren.
grandparents can have on their
grandchildren, it is pertinent to
built the relationship well and carefully. Depending on familial situations, this can be easy or hard to do.
An important element in fostering
a good grandparent-grandchild
relationship is making sure you put
in quality time. Some grandparents
live far away from their grandchildren and some live with them.
Quality time is more easily achieved
when you see your grandchildren
daily versus monthly or even yearly,
but distance doesn’t necessarily
weaken the relationship. Sometimes
it can even make it stronger. When
you do see each other, the reunion
can be heartwarming and treasurable.
If you are a long-distance grandparent, be sure to keep up communication, whether it’s through
letters, phone calls or Skype.
Make it clear to the child that even
though you are not physically with
her, you can still be there for her.
However, be aware daily phone calls
or Skype sessions can sometimes be
excessive and exhausting for both
grandparents and grandchildren.
Even though you and your grandchild have a familial bond, you lead
different lives. Acknowledge this
and understand your schedules are
different. Weekly phone calls are
usually the best option, offering
enough space for both of you. Set
aside a specific day and time each
week and make it a special ritual for
the two of you to converse about
the week you had.
When you have the chance to
spend time with your grandchild,
make the experience memorable.
Go to the zoo, have a picnic in the
park, plan a daytrip. Sitting around
and watching TV when you are
with your grandchildren can weaken the relationship and make it less
sacred. You do not have the same
time constraints or busy schedule as
a parent, so you can enjoy whatever
activities you decide to do with
your grandchildren. If you want to,
you can devote a whole afternoon
to quality time with them, knowing
you don’t have to do things such as
carpool or running errands.
Being a grandparent is a gift for
both you and your grandchildren.
Staying involved and keeping the
relationship healthy makes it even
more enjoyable. Offering all you
can in both wisdom and time to
your grandchildren gives them a
connection that will not be taken
for granted nor easily broken.