Health&Wellness Magazine August 2014 | Page 24

24 & August 2014 | Read this issue and more at www.healthandwellnessmagazine.net | Just the Way We Are: How to Forgive Yourself for Being Imperfect By Annette Racond, Staff Writer On an intellectual level, we all know no one is perfect. Although we may forgive others, we often find it difficult to give ourselves a break. We may become riddled with guilt over something we did or said, beating ourselves up for extended periods of time for being imperfect. People who are codependent may even take responsibility and assume guilt for another person’s actions. They may even come to believe that their husband’s or wife’s drinking problem is their fault. It’s not all that uncommon for victims of abuse to experience guilt and shame as if in some way what happened to them was their doing. Enduring constant guilt can lead to shame, which makes us feel inferior, inadequate, and unworthy about the very essence of who we are. Our wellbeing will inevitably be compromised if we hold onto guilt and shame, con2 HAMBURG JOURNAL tinuing to punish ourselves for words and actions that we can’t go back in time and change. What we can do is learn from our mistakes and forge ahead. Here are some tips for healthy ways to help you begin the process of forgiving yourself: 1. Pen to Paper: Write down what you feel you’ve done wrong and if you’re magnifying the situation in any way. Consider whether or not you’re holding yourself to an unreasonWWW.HAMBURGJOURNAL.COM ably high standard and why carrying around buckets of guilt isn’t helping anyone. Even if you determine that you did do or say something wrong, think about why it might be wise to let go of all of the angst you’ve been toting around. 2. Make Amends: If you’ve come to the conclusion that you have indeed caused harm to someone, reach out to them (if appropriate). Let them know you regret what you did or said and JANUARY 2O12 Like us @healthykentucky ask for forgiveness. If you don’t deem it appropriate to speak to this person directly or if the individual is no longer with us, consider writing a letter without sending it. Express your thoughts and feelings about what transpired. You don’t necessarily have to confront the person to gain a sense of closure. 3. Honesty Counts: Taking responsibility for your actions is critical. Accountability allows us to examine what we’ve done, giving us an opportunity to learn from our mistakes. We don’t have to keep making the same mistakes over and over again. We can feel remorse without going overboard and holding onto such feelings for infinite periods of time. We can’t change the past, but we can own up to our wrongdoings and figure out how to move forward on a more positive note. 4. Onward and Upward: Moving on is the only healthy path on the road to living a fulfilling life. Letting go can be exhilarating and can open up a whole new way of life for everyone involved. Be good to yourself and become your own best friend. About the Author Annette Racond is a Certified Health Coach who has had her work published in The New York Times, The Miami Herald, Chicago Sun-Times and Newsday, along with other major publications. Senior Retirement Community Rose Mary C. Brooks Place Rose Mary C. Brooks Place We’re Not Almost Home. We are Home. We’re not almost home. We are home. NOW LEASING Celebrating Mother’s Day with 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. brunch and Includes assistance with activities of daily living. Three meals a day, weekly housekeeping, concierge service and much more! Our rates are competitive and all inclusive. Enjoy 24/7 emergency response by our well trained staff. Guardian Life Alert System is included for all new residents at no additional cost. Daily care is tailored to meet the unique needs of individual. Enjoying the view from the patio. The Cottages (below) offer more independent retirement living. great friends NOW LEASING! Assisted Living (above) available in Studio and One-Bedroom Apartments Gracious Independent & Assisted Retirement Living Conveniently located Conveniently locatedminutes fromBypass oneasy Bypass to Winchester.64 and 75. on the Hamburg with the access in Interstates in Winchester. Only For more information contact Only minutes from Hamburg Linda or Rick at 859-745-4904 We invite you to come with easy access to Interstates 64 and 75. Average Daily Caregiver Cost $240 be a part of our family! Average Daily Brooks Place Cost $75 859-737-6406 www.brooksplace.org Enjoy your independence and let us do the work! We’ll take care of snow removal, mowing, trimming and will even make sure your air filters are changed regularly. Our fifth and final cul-de-sac is almost completed. Call