How
To Stop
Being
Nervous
Around
Others
HAVE YOU ever been nervous
about being in front of others —
whether it’s presenting a proposal
for work or doing a Facebook Live
event with your Jamila business?
What about having to meet and work
with someone you’ve never met before?
Or, what about those times when you
have to be in the same room with someone
you’ve had a falling out with?
When experiences like these aren’t fun, and
you feel anxious, fearful and maybe even dread,
that only means you’re projecting bad things to
happen in the future or you’re reliving
uncomfortable things that happened in the past. And
what’s interesting is that you’re thinking those
thoughts in the right now. Even if you’re dredging up
the past, you’re doing that right now. You don’t jump
back six months or 20 years and relive it. Nope. You only
By: Kathy Ellis, Co-Founder of Jamila
bring it to your attention now and experience some version
of it in the now. Same with the future. You don’t jump ahead
an hour or five years; you think about your future in this now. Now, because the past isn’t happening to you now and the
future isn’t happening to you now, you can make a conscious decision as to what to think right now. You can make a
conscious decision to think about the past or the future or the now. You can even make a conscious decision as to what to
think about from the past or future or now.
You can remember and experience times when you were uncomfortable or embarrassed when in front of others, or you can
remember and experience times when you were entirely comfortable and eager to be with others. You get to choose.
One of the best ways to get your mind thinking happy, confident, empowering thoughts is to write out how you’d like to
honor and respect those people you’ll be in front of or meeting with. Take the focus off of you, and place it on them. Who
are they? What beautiful stories do they have? What do they need and want in their lives? How can you help support them?
Can you see them as happy, fun, healthy, prosperous and joyful? Can you want that for them? Can you see them getting the
information or appreciation they want and need from you? Can you lift them up in your mind? What things can you
appreciate about them? Even if you don’t know them well, you do realize they are dedicating their time to being with you,
and you can certainly appreciate that. Find as many things to appreciate about them and the situation as you can — the air
conditioning, the water, the seating, the copiers who duplicate, the help you received in preparing, the talent that is all
around you. Just keep focused on loving and appreciating the people you’ll meet with, the people who helped you along
the way and the physical things surrounding you.
It doesn’t take long, and it will dramatically affect how you feel about the people and how they feel about you. Somehow
thoughts of love and appreciation toward others reach them and are accepted by them. Anytime you’re feeling nervous
about being with others, you’re too focused on you, and all you have to do is change that focus toward them and do so with
a loving, appreciative heart. It changes everything.
P.S. Remember, your life is an experience, and you get to decide what kind of experience to have.
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