Technique 1 : Turn the paradox on its head
But you probably don ' t have an EEG machine or sleep lab handy . So we need to ask questions about sleep if we suspect it ' s a real problem for someone . Questions like ...
1 . Does it feel like it takes a long time each night to fall asleep ? ( More than
30 minutes ?) 2 . Do you wake up multiple times through the night ?
3 . Do you find yourself waking up really early in the morning and feeling you can ' t get back to sleep ? ( Early waking syndrome is a symptom of depression , perhaps because the body is trying to self-correct the excessive REM [ dream ] sleep characteristic of depression .)
4 . Do you wake up exhausted each morning even though you ' ve slept through the night ? ( This might indicate their sleep composition is out of whack . Too much REM sleep and too little recuperative slow-wave sleep is a major cause and symptom of depression .)
I ' ve written about the importance of ' kickstarting ' the REM state ( where dreams come ) as a way of getting off to sleep . While we don ' t fully enter the dream state as soon as we go to sleep , we do have dream ' fragments ' – and we can stimulate these purposefully to improve our chances of drifting off . But that ’ s only the beginning
Let me share with you three more techniques to help your clients sleep .
Technique 1 : Turn the paradox on its head
If your aim is to get to sleep , trying to stay awake is actually more effective than trying to sleep . That ' s your paradox right there . But as frustrating as it might seem , we can actually use it to our advantage .
Paradoxical tasking can help change patterns of behaviour and response . I was thrilled with how well it worked for one of my clients in particular .
Tom just couldn ' t sleep . For hours , he told me , he ' d wrestle with his thoughts – and his duvet .
" As much as I try to sleep , I just can ' t !" he despaired . I didn ' t have the heart to tell him that his valiant efforts were probably the reason he couldn ' t get to sleep . Sleep needs to be invited in , not kidnapped and forced to comply . It is a guest , not a slave .