honeymoon trip be reserved for the first anniversary , when the wonder of Paris isn ’ t competing with the wonder of discovering each other ’ s body ? Even though it might be a hard sell , let your child know that waiting to begin their sexual relationship on the day after their wedding is a possibility if they want to begin their sexual relationship physically refreshed and with energy . There is so much to explore within a sexual relationship — it does not all need to happen on the wedding night ! The point is to think about in advance any practical plans that will help make the beginning of their sexual relationship not an ordeal , but an adventure .
NUTS AND BOLTS
Scholars make three suggestions for couples beginning their sexual relationship : 1 Take it as slow as you need to . 2 Take it as slow as your partner needs to . 3 Focus on your spouse ’ s satisfaction and pleasure — where that doesn ’ t interfere with the first or second suggestion . [ i ] These suggestions create a nice framework for a premarital sex discussion with a soon-to-be-wed child . In terms of “ take it as slow as you need to ,” teach the couple how sexual enjoyment typically works for women and men , including the fact that it typically takes females longer to reach climax than males . Make sure your child has a basic understanding of the anatomy of both genders . They should already know from previous conversations that when a man is aroused he gets an erection , and when he orgasms he ejaculates and fluid is released . Let the couple know about the important role of the clitoris in female sexual stimulation , that most women orgasm as a result of clitoral stimulation and not from intercourse itself , and that light and continuous touch with lubricant are useful in helping clitoral stimulation feel enjoyable . Help them understand that natural lubrication is sometimes not sufficient for women , and that lubricant can also reduce some of the possible pain of intercourse . Help them understand that water is not a lubricant — so the daydream about having sex in the shower might best be saved for a bit later in the sexual relationship . Remind your child : Take it as slow as you need to .
Which leads to considering one of the main features of creating a sexual relationship together : managing different sexual pacing ( as evidenced by suggestions one and two ). There should not be pressure to orgasm together , or to make orgasm the marker of success or failure . One way to resolve the different pacing is the “ ladies first ” timing , allowing the woman to slow sex down to her pace . There are advantages to this , since research shows that slow sex is better sex for both men and women . Another way to resolve a