difference in pace is to have the man reach orgasm relatively quickly during foreplay , and then let him use the calmer moments of his refractory period ( a period that lasts about 30 minutes in younger men , in which men cannot become sexually aroused ) to slow his pace to more closely focus on and match his wife ’ s arousal . He will likely be ready to go again by the time she is .
INSECURITIES
There is a blend of excitement and worry about being seen and seeing each other naked for the first time . Assure your child that their fiancé is attracted to them as a whole person and , although there will automatically be a focus on the physical in the beginning of the sexual relationship , it ’ s going to be unproductive to worry about weight loss or other issues of physical appearance . In terms of how the grand unveiling will go , there ’ s no need to go for glamorous . Just keep focusing on suggestion three , which is to create intimacy through satisfaction and pleasure . Ideally , these insecurities can be calmed as the couple reflects on their friendship and the ways that they have developed a safe relationship that reassures one another and does not create unhealthy attitudes . Hopefully , they can openly communicate their fears to one another and alleviate most of these struggles .
SEXUAL MEANINGS
We can ’ t help but imagine what sex will look like before we have it ourselves . Let your child know that the beginning of a sexual relationship is not the time to focus on sexual performance , or trying to match an unrealistic media portrayal , but rather to focus on the suggestions above : take it slow , match the pace to the person who needs more time , and share the process . Together find a pace that allows for learning , sharing , growth — and most of all fun . Help your child know , too , that sex changes over time . Sex will keep getting better and better as they learn and grow together . Regarding sexual meanings , some people have a hard time “ flipping the sexual switch ” from a No ! No ! No ! mindset to a Go ! Go ! Go ! mindset simply by saying “ I do .” Prior sexual meanings — including those that result from abuse or guilt — might arise uninvited in a new sexual relationship . Getting help where needed , talking openly with your spouse ,
being sexually mindful , and realizing that sex will take the meaning you give it are all important factors to making sex a powerful bonding experience .
SEXUAL WHOLENESS
Beginning a sexual relationship together is just that : a beginning . We want sexual wholeness for our children in their marriages , and that means working