They laugh at the same things , make the same gestures , have the same posture , and even use the same words . We say that rapport is the glue that holds friendships , and trance , together . When we have rapport , we feel similar to the other person , and we all like people who are a lot like us . That ’ s because we see ourselves as normal . Therefore , if someone seems similar to us , they are trustworthy because they are normal too . When you have rapport , the sky ’ s the limit in what you can do with hypnosis . And when you don ’ t have it , you ’ ll feel like you ’ re banging your head on a wall , trying to make things happen . There are several techniques to gain and maintain rapport . We ’ ve already mentioned that people in rapport with each other use the same words . You can use this information by offering back the other person ’ s language without interpreting . If the person says they ’ re feeling overwhelmed by life , you can use those same words a bit later in the conversation to build rapport . This is called pacing their language .
If instead you interpret what they said , telling the person that you understand they ’ re feeling “ frazzled ” you ’ ll likely break rapport . It ’ s easy to pace all sorts of things . You can match their posture , head tilt , blink reflex , facial expression ; just about any behaviour . The key is to be subtle so they don ’ t consciously notice that you ’ re pacing them . By pacing their behaviour , you ’ ll build a very strong rapport . The simplest way to build rapport is to pretend that your subject is the most fascinating and important person you ’ ve ever met . If you keep doing this , the mirror neurons in your brain will do the rest automatically . That ’ s because when we give someone our full attention with curiosity and fascination , it makes them feel highly valued and listened to , which is a very good thing , and something we all want !
Rapport is so important , it goes way beyond hypnosis . It ’ s actually a vital skill to have a good life . By intentionally building rapport with other people , you ’ ll find that you ’ re liked and valued by others , and your hypnosis abilities will soar too .
Putting it all together ... So now you know that all conversation is hypnotic to some degree . In order to make it work for you , there are several things to remember :
• Make sure you have rapport with the subject . Rapport is the glue that holds trance together , and without it , your subject won ’ t go into , or stay in trance .