We all carry around serious core wounds that need the salve of forgiveness to heal . My personal core wound involves emotional and psychological abandonment due to the suffocating isolation I felt living in a fanatical , emotionally stunted family . A large part of my own journey has been about learning to forgive my parents and finding the genuine love and acceptance I was never given , inside of myself .
For you , your journey might be different . You might struggle with physical abuse issues , divorce problems , illnesses , tragedies , or any number of other traumas that may have stuck with you for a long time .
Whatever you are struggling with , know that forgiveness can truly set you free . But first you must challenge the many myths about forgiveness that have been ingrained into your personal belief system .
MYTH 1- FORGIVENESS IS A SELFLESS ACT . REALITY : FORGIVENESS IS A SELF-SERVING ACT .
It ’ s easy for us to get caught up in the romanticised notion that forgiveness means being a saint , but it doesn ’ t . True forgiveness is an act of selfliberation ; it is about releasing yourself from the bitterness , shame and regret you ’ ve held onto for so long and finding true freedom . True freedom means that you no longer cling to your victimhood , your dark feelings or your angry thoughts , but you accept the reality of what happened , knowing that there is no point resisting something that occurred in the past .
MYTH 2 - FORGIVENESS IS ABOUT FORGETTING .
REALITY : FORGIVENESS IS ABOUT USING YOUR PAIN TO BECOME WISER .
Forgetting the injustices and abuses committed against us is completely unrealistic . After all , forgiveness is not a magical fairy wand that causes amnesia ! But forgiveness is about reflecting on what happened to you , and using the experience to navigate through life wisely and intelligently . What is the point of trying to forgive and forget what your partner did to you if you can use the experience to make a wiser choice in the future ( preventing a potential repeat )? Many people pretend to forget what happened to them under the guise of “ forgiveness ” when in fact this is a classic , and toxic , form of avoidance . Don ’ t use pain to avoid or repress your reality : pain is there to teach you , so use it !
MYTH 3 - FORGIVENESS MEANS LETTING BAD PEOPLE OFF THE HOOK .