Healing and Hypnotherapy Volume 2, Special Mega Annual Issue, 15 June 2018 | Page 59

Caring in a Good Way
No matter how good your intentions are, caring in some ways can
make a person feel worse than before.
Sympathizing can harm others
Be careful offering your sympathy to people who have suffered.
Sometimes this will make things worse. Reading into your sympathy
a person who has survived abuse and trauma may be reminded that
they have experienced something terrible, and this can be very dis-
empowering. Treat them like how you think they want to feel, not how
you think they feel. Instead of sounding sorry for them, offer your help
and support in a neutral voice, allowing them to calibrate their
emotions.
Empathizing can harm you
To empathize with another person’s trauma by imagining what they
have been through is unnecessary and can put you at risk of
developing a secondary trauma.
Compassion empowers
If you offer others your help in a way that empowers them, you will
make them feel strong. This allows you to respect their pain and
experience in a positive way. If you want to help a soldier, remember
that his or her value system is
 built around self-sufficiency. Sympathy
can be insulting and provoke aggressive responses, empathy too.
Treat a survivor with respect, warmth and good humor.
We often say “I cannot imagine how you feel, or what you have
been through, but I am here for you and would like to offer my
support if you wish to receive it.”
Picking up Emotions
Have you ever experienced a contagious mood where somebody
else’s joy or anguish seems to slip inside you, as if it was transferred?