Caring in a Good Way
No matter how good your intentions are , caring in some ways can make a person feel worse than before .
Sympathizing can harm others
Be careful offering your sympathy to people who have suffered . Sometimes this will make things worse . Reading into your sympathy a person who has survived abuse and trauma may be reminded that they have experienced something terrible , and this can be very disempowering . Treat them like how you think they want to feel , not how you think they feel . Instead of sounding sorry for them , offer your help and support in a neutral voice , allowing them to calibrate their emotions .
Empathizing can harm you
To empathize with another person ’ s trauma by imagining what they have been through is unnecessary and can put you at risk of developing a secondary trauma .
Compassion empowers
If you offer others your help in a way that empowers them , you will make them feel strong . This allows you to respect their pain and experience in a positive way . If you want to help a soldier , remember that his or her value system is
built around self-sufficiency . Sympathy can be insulting and provoke aggressive responses , empathy too . Treat a survivor with respect , warmth and good humor .
We often say “ I cannot imagine how you feel , or what you have been through , but I am here for you and would like to offer my support if you wish to receive it .”
Picking up Emotions
Have you ever experienced a contagious mood where somebody else ’ s joy or anguish seems to slip inside you , as if it was transferred ?