HCBA Lawyer Magazine Vol. 30, No. 5 | Page 7

E D I T O R ’ S M E S S A G E Di n e e n Pa s h o u k o s Wa s y l i k – DP W Le g a l Continued from page 4 But there’s also an undercurrent of coping difficulties (so, so many references to “wine-o’-clock” and day drinking and understandable impatience and anger). It can be scarily easy to slip into unhealthy coping mechanisms. Stress causes not just fight or flight, but also freeze. Physiologically, the best ways to break free of that freeze and complete the stress response cycle include exercise/ movement, mindfulness and meditation, or even a good old-fashioned cry or scream. In the face of so much additional stress, I am reminded to lean on one of my favorite life skills books: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. This simple, small tome carries four big ideas that make business and life smoother. They are: 1. “Be impeccable with your word.” Be honest with yourself and others. Speaking with integrity is the first step to managing difficult situations. 2. “Don’t take anything personally.” If my first thought is “what a jerk!” I take an immediate step back. What might this person be going through that is The Stann Givens Family Law Inn of Court making him angry or sad or mean? I don’t know, but I do know it is not about me. So I remove myself from the equation and find I can handle the situation much better when I don’t let taking offense get in the way. 3. “Don’t make assumptions.” This is all about asking good questions, expressing yourself honestly, and avoiding drama. 4. “Always Do Your Best.” This one sounds like you must be absolutely be 100% on your game, but it’s not. Your best differs from moment to moment, and sometimes your best is writing the best brief of your life and sometimes your best is showering before 10 am. Whatever kind of day it is, do your best without self-judgment or self-abuse or regret. The undercurrent of these four rules is caring: Caring for yourself, and approaching the people with whom you interact with care. If we can remember to choose caring, we will get through this, and our lives and our profession will be better for it. And if you need help, please ask. The Florida Bar’s Lawyers Assistance Program confidential hotline, 800-282-8981, can provide much-needed support. In the meantime, do your best. Tampa’s only Family Law Inn, the Stann Givens Family Law Inn of Tampa, is now accepting applications for the 2020-2021 Inn year, which starts in August 2020. Are you new to the practice of family law? Do you want to get more involved in the family law community? Are you interested in getting to know the judges who will be presiding over your family law cases? Formed in 1995, The Stann Givens Family Law Inn of Tampa is an organization of family law judges, magistrates, hearing officers, attorneys, and law students, who are dedicated to professionalism, ethics, civility, and excellence in the practice of family law. We were the first Inn in Tampa to be recognized by the American Inn of Court as achieving the highest standards of an Inn – Platinum. We hope that you will consider becoming a member. TO APPLY, COMPLETE THE APPLICATION ON OUR WEBSITE at: www.inns.innsofcourt.org/for-members/inns/the-stann-givens-family-law- american-inn-of-court-of-tampa.aspx or Google “Givens Inn.” THE DEADLINE TO APPLY IS JUNE 30, 2020. M AY - J U N E 2 0 2 0 | HCBA LAWYER 5