HCBA Lawyer Magazine Vol. 29, No. 1 | Page 7

E D I T O R ’ S
M E S S A G E
E d C o m e y - L a w C l e r k t o U. S . B a n k r u p t c y Ju d g e M i c h a e l G. Wi l l i a m s o n
d estigMAtizing d epression , p Art ii
Kevin love was right … there’s a power to saying things out loud.
A
s soon as I handed in my article for the
last issue, I knew I had chickened out. You
see, in the last issue I wrote an article
about creating a better environment for
talking about mental health. The
inspiration for the article was a March 2018 letter that
NBA player Kevin Love wrote to The Players Tribune, in
which he opened up about how
his failure to deal with the
emotions from the unexpected
death of his grandmother years
earlier had, in part, led to a
panic attack last season.
In his letter, Love, who was
devastated by his grandmother’s
death, recounts how he never
really talked about it. Rather
than deal with his emotions,
Love buried them and told
himself: “I have to focus on
basketball. I’ll deal with it later.
Be a man.”
But after suffering a panic
attack last season, Love saw a
therapist. And during those
therapy sessions, Love was
surprised to learn how his grandmother’s death was still
causing him pain. Talking about it out loud for the first
time was, in Love’s words, eye-opening.
The reason I was inspired by Love’s story was because
I could relate to it. When I was 10, my dad passed away,
leaving my mom to raise me and my three brothers by
herself. I was devastated by losing my dad. But like Love,
I never talked about it. My mom had a hard enough time
raising four boys, I didn’t need to make it any more
difficult: “I’ll deal with it later. Be a man.”
I had planned to relate that story in my last article, but
at the last minute, I edited it out.
© Can Stock Photo / iqoncept
SEPT - OCT 2018
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HCBA LAWYER
Weeks later, my mom died. To say my brothers and
I were devastated would be an understatement. But I was
struck by what happened when we found out: Each of us
immediately opened up how much pain we had suffered
by burying the emotions from our dad’s death and how
we couldn’t go through that again. Speaking for myself,
simply saying those words lifted an enormous weight off
my shoulders.
Why write about it now?
Shortly after the last issue came
out, I received a kind e-mail
from Hillsborough County
Court Judge Margaret Taylor
asking permission to share my
last article with others. I was
humbled. But I’ll confess I was
a bit embarrassed too. Here
I had written an article about
how we needed to create a
better environment for talking
about mental health, yet I was
afraid to do so because it was
uncomfortable.
As Love explained in his letter,
there’s something terrifying and
awkward about opening up. But
there’s a power to saying things out loud.
Now would you permit me a word about my mom?
It’s only fitting I mention her here. She was the only
known regular reader of this column. No, my mom
wasn’t an HCBA member (or even a lawyer); she would
just have my wife send her my articles because she
loved reading them. There’s not enough room in this
column to tell you about what an amazing woman she
was. I’ll just say this: I worshipped my mom. I’ll miss
her dearly.
Kevin Love was right…there’s a power to saying things
out loud.
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