LessonsfromLAssoonmeDiAtionstrAtegY
Mediation & Arbitration Section
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and empathy . In order to deeply connect with his new boss , Ted brought her cookies each morning and referred to their conversations as “ Biscuits with the Boss .” He took Trent Crimm , his harshest critic in the press , to dinner and gave him full access to practices . He took every opportunity to connect and find common ground with his adversaries , and he won their trust and respect .
Great mediators use their superpowers of empathy and emotional intelligence by taking every opportunity to find common ground with both the lawyers and the parties to uncover their unique needs and interests . This helps the parties create agreement where those interests meet .
Be Curious , Not Judgmental The actor who plays Ted describes him as “‘ ignorant and curious .” Ted asks everyone questions with a humble curiosity that shows that he cares and values the knowledge and experience of others . Similarly , one of the mediator ’ s most useful tools is curiosity . A mediator who asks questions to understand the case , and the people involved , gains respect both for taking an interest in the parties and for valuing the opinions of others . For example , when a party proposes making a counter-productive offer , a good mediator exercises curiosity , not judgement , and asks how the offer will likely be responded to by the other side . This usually leads to the enlightenment of either the mediator or the party making the proposal .
Treat Everyone as Important Ted sees the best in people . He taps everyone for ideas , even the underappreciated equipment manager , Nathan , who shares game-changing ideas once he believes Ted values his opinion . During the mediation , a skilled mediator will engage each person and encourage them to share their thoughts and solutions . This creates trust and makes the parties more willing to accept the mediator ’ s perspective .
“ Believe ”
Ted understands that hope is powerful so he hangs a sign with only one word in the locker room : “ Believe .” A mediator should display relentless optimism , from the opening statements through all the ups and downs of the mediation . The mediator should point out that cases often settle even when the parties begin mediation with the belief that their case has no chance of settling . If the mediator sincerely believes in the process , the parties will believe it too .
Humor is a Powerful Tool
Humor often makes the truth easier to digest . Ted responds to every insult with humor and diffuses those that attack him . Humor , especially at your own expense , disarms difficult parties , avoids confrontation , and maintains a productive atmosphere for settlement .
Ted Lasso teaches us that approaching mediation with curiosity and a problem-solving approach , rather than argument , is the most efficient path to mediation success . n
Author : Harold Oehler – Oehler Mediation
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