Harmony in Marriage
59
People started thinking, “Now we have a new groom.
Let’s get him married again.” At that time there were many
prospective brides. The attitude of the parents at the time was
that it did not matter what the groom was like, their daughters
must get married. In the year 1944, I was thirty-six years old.
A Patel from Bhadran, (Dada’s town), approached me one day
in regards to his wife’s brother had a daughter. When I asked
him why he had come to me he said, “You have just had a
mishap. First of all, Hiraba has lost her eye and on top of that
you do not have any children.” I told him, “I don’t have any
children but neither do I have any estate in terms of wealth. All
I have is a small piece of land and a roof over my head” I had
no estate for posterity. But why are you asking me all this? The
day I married Hiraba, I had made a promise to her. So what
if she has lost her eye, what can be done now? Even if she lost
both her eyes, I would hold her hand and guide her.”
Questioner : We both came to know each other better
after we got married and now we feel that we made an error
of judgment in choosing each other. We are incompatible with
each other. What should we do to become compatible with
each other so that we can be happy?
Dadashri : Everything you have said so far is false.
First you said that you got to know each other better after
marriage, however this is not true. You have not understood
anything. If you understood each other, there would be no
problems.
I stopped all disputes in my marriage after getting rid of
my interfering intellect. Only then was I able to really know my
wife. When did I come to understand Hiraba? When I was
sixty years old. I got married at the age of fifteen, so for forty-
five years I observed closely and only then, did I come to
understand what she was like.