Harmony in Marriage
33
asking? That never happens. I am not a foolish man.” “You
must have a little discord?” I inquired. “Not with my wife,” he
replied. I went on, “What if your wife gets angry sometimes?”
He replied, “I say to her, ‘Beloved, outside that boss harasses
me, and if you harass me here, what will become of me?’ and
she in turn, calms down.” I replied, “Since there is no discord,
there is no problem.” He then replied by asking me what would
happen if there was discord. He asked, “Where would she
sleep and where would I sleep? If this home had three levels,
then I could go away to the third floor. But here, we both have
to sleep in the same room. She faces one wall and I face the
other wall, what fun is there in that? The whole night we would
not be able to sleep, and where else would I go? This is why
I do not make my wife unhappy at all, even if she were to beat
me up. I fight with everyone outside the home, but not with my
wife. You cannot do anything to your wife. If I get angry, I go
and fight outside, but not at home.”
Let me offer another example. When Salia’s wife (a
Muslim family) asked him to buy meat, it was a dilemma. Since
his wages were very minimal, how could the poor man afford
to buy any meat? His wife had been telling him for over a
month, that their poor children keep asking for mutton. Then
one day the wife gets irritated, so he tells her he will bring some
meat that evening. He is always prepared with answers,
because if he is not, she continues to nag at him. Upon her
irritation, he immediately gave her a positive reply. “I will bring
it today, I will bring it from wherever I have to,” he said. By
saying this he prevented a quarrel. Thinking that he would bring
meat home that day, as he had said, she became furious and
started yelling, when he walked in empty-handed. Being the
shrewd man that he is, Salia was able to pacify his wife by
saying, “Dear heart, only I know my problems, you would not
understand.” In the same manner, Salia uttered a few more