HEALTH
Goldie met me at a local diner in north Phoe-
nix one Saturday morning. He was clean shaven
and wanted to share his story. “In 2009 I went to
Afghanistan – inspired to serve after 9/11. And I
liked my squad. We were like brothers who shared
everything,” he explained. “I would die for those
guys. But it was still tough. Every day we faced
IEDs which are homemade bombs. They have
flammable fuel in them and are loaded with rusty
screws, dirt, all kinds of nasty things — and when
you get blown up by one, you usually lose a leg or
arm, and — well, you are probably going to die.”
A shadow fell over his face. He lowered his voice.
“Seeing people blown up . . . seeing people die . . .
it was too much.”
“One day we were crossing a canal,” Goldie
looked down. “My squad had been in a firefight,
and the Taliban began to shoot at us unexpected-
ly. We returned the fire, but it was too late. They
had already hit my good buddy — Nick.” Goldie
froze for just a moment, crawling back into his
mental battlefield.
He shook his head forlornly. “I reached out to him,
but when I rolled Nick over, and he coughed up
blood, I knew.” He paused reverently. “Nick was
gone. They shot him — in the head. And this ex-
perience sent a hard message through all of us. I
cannot tell you how painful it is to watch someone
you care about die — shot to death right in front
of you.”
“How did I cope with it all? Quite a bit gets buried
inside you. And you don’t talk about it,” said Goldie.
“But in Afghanistan I did keep a diary. The guys can
tell you. Some guys used music. I used the writing.
The writing helped.” Suddenly Goldie’s smile resur-
faced. “Yeah. It helped a lot. If you can simply write
your story or your thoughts and get it out of you,
it helps relieve the stress and anxiety. It takes the
unseen monkey off your back.”
Over two hundred studies show us that our per-
sonal writing can help us heal physically and psy-
chologically. Similar to writing our stories, sharing
our stories holds the same promise of helping
us to heal. If you don’t want to write, if you can’t
write, tell your stories.
In my work with writers, veterans, and cancer pa-
tients, I have discovered there are stages that can
15 | HAPI Guide
Over two hundred
studies show us that our
personal writing can help
us heal physically and
psychologically. Similar
to writing our stories,
sharing our stories holds
the same promise of
helping us to heal. If you
don’t want to write, if
you can’t write, tell your
stories.
help us find our way to healing when faced with
trauma:
1. Experiencing pain and grief. Our emotions
can help us adapt. While there is no set or-
der for dealing with pain and trauma, ini-
tially you might want to ignore or deny the
experience.
2. Open up – break your silence. At this time,
you find your voice and begin to express
your emotions and share openly what has
happened.
3. Accepting and piecing together a shattered
story. In this stage, you begin to move your
emotions into a logical framework and
make sense of what has happened and what
you plan to do about it. Writing is especially
helpful in this stage.
4. Finding meaning. Here you make sense of
your broken story and integrate it into your
life. The story is complete.
5. Rewriting or transforming your story. With
the pain of this experience behind you, you
can move forward with renewed energy to
live more fully.
The Story You Need to Tell is a guide to help you
find, share, write, edit, and grow from your stories.