The Guru and the Disciple
75
Questioner: I am married.
Dadashri: So go ahead make her your guru. At least she
is right there in your home. She will stay with you no matter what.
Questioner: What good does that do? Don’t we need a
Gnani?
Dadashri: What are the gurus out there going to give you?
Besides, every man has made his wife a guru. It is just that no man
would admit it!
Questioner: But one cannot say that in front of everyone!
Dadashri: No one says anything, but I understand people’s
nature. I even tell young men that they appear wise because their
guru (wife) has not yet come. Just wait until she comes! There is
nothing wrong in you bringing home a wife. But you should have
sense enough that you don’t take advantage of the situation. When
she cooks you good food – she makes fritters, jalebees and ladoos,
etc., for you – then why not make her your guru? If you are not
impressed with any gurus outside, if you do not come across a
guru that captures your heart, then just tell your wife, ‘Come, you
are my guru and I am your guru.’ Alas! This will bring rise to
uchhado here! She will be fascinated and attracted (uchhado) to
you and so will you be for her. What is the point of making
someone you are not attracted to, your guru? Why not make
your wife your guru! What is wrong with that? God resides in her,
so then it is immaterial whether she is educated or not.
So if you do not find a good guru, then you can make your
wife your guru in the end! This is because it is better to do things
after consulting a guru. If one does not ask, then one is likely to go
astray. Therefore, you should consult your wife; ask her, ‘What
do you think? I will do as you tell me to.’ The wife in turn should
make her husband her guru. She should say, ‘I will do whatever
you tell me to.’ It is better to do this, than to make these fraudulent
people your guru; at least there is no deception at home! Therefore,