GSCENE 67
HOMELY
HOMILY
VRON’S
BY GLENN STEVENS
VOICE
A HELPING HAND
BEST INTENTIONS
How was your Christmas? More like the John Lewis ad, rather than an
episode of EastEnders I hope. And as for presents, did you get
everything you asked for from Santa? As for me, the one thing I
wished for the most (along with a onesie, a selection box of Ferrero
Rocher and the box set of Stephen King films) was A Round Tuit.
You see, it is one of those gifts that promise to transform your life. As
soon as I heard about this thing called A Round Tuit, I had the same
feeling of excitement I had back when I was a kid, reading the ads in
the back of my old comic collection that promised I could see the
bones in my hands with their X-Ray specs, or watch prehistoric
creatures called Amazing Sea-Monkeys come to life.
As I write this, the winter solstice is almost upon us. To paraphrase an
old song - another year older and deeper in debt. 2012 has been a
tough, belt-tightening year for many of us, a year of spectacular
change and disruption. I’m sick and tired of hearing about austerity,
surely one of the most over-used words in the English language right
now. What, I wonder, will 2013 bring? More joys than woes, let’s hope.
Although I was a little
cautious about putting A
Round Tuit on my Christmas
list, having in my youth learnt
to my (pocket money) cost
that although those X-Ray
specs just made your eyes go a
bit funny, and the Amazing
Sea-Monkeys were nothing
more than water shrimps, A
Round Tuit just might just be
the miracle object my heart
had always desired. You see,
throughout 2012 I kept
promising myself that I’d get
all those odd jobs done; from
being more proactive within the community, sending off my writing
projects to potential publishers and the most daunting project of all,
sorting out my desk and the oh so ironically labelled ‘tidy draw’; all I
needed to do was to get ‘around to it’ (getit?)
Part of the problem many of us face is that sometimes projects seem
either too easy to complete and so are put off until the next day, or
the thought of getting to grips with the bigger challengers just feels
so daunting that we end up shying away from them altogether.
“Part of the problem many of us
face is that sometimes projects seem
either too easy to complete and so
are put off until the next day”
One of the easiest ways and at the same time perhaps one of the
hardest things for many of us to do is to reach out and ask others for
help in getting things done. This has been recognised as particularly
true for older gay men living with HIV. This could be down to any
number of factors, from slipping into routines that have led to
unintentional isolation, either through no longer finding the pub/club
scene as attractive as it use to be, or not wanting to go to social
events alone; or even wanting to get a pet project underway but have
lost the confidence to even get it started.
So, as the old year wanes, it’s resolution time again and, as usual, I
am positively brimming over with good intentions for the New Year. I
will:
1. Become an early riser again. My sleep patterns have been somewhat
erratic in recent months and – after a succession of broken nights – I
often oversleep, resulting in much reduced energy levels. Hence, I
have lost the habit of setting aside mornings for ‘creative’ stuff. By
the time I’ve bathed and breakfasted, it’s well past what used to be
my ‘start’ time for writing, and yet I feel like I’ve already done a day’s
work.
2. Keep a diary. Apart from anything else, this is a good, constructive
daily exercise, interesting to reflect on in the future, however trivial
certain entries might seem in hindsight. Julia Cameron, in her
inspirational book, The Artist’s Way, recommends writing three A4
morning pages, a daily discipline which she sees as a kind of
imaginative ‘trigger’. And who could forget movie legend Mae West’s
exhortation to ‘keep a diary – and it may end up keeping you’!
“I shall delay switching on my laptop
until noon to try and cut back on one
of the main forms of ‘displacement
activity’: i.e. Googling, checking
emails, responding to emails”
3. Stop being a computer slave. I shall delay switching on my laptop
until noon at the earliest. This is to try and cut back on one of the
main forms of ‘displacement activity’ known to us scribes: i.e.
Googling, checking emails, responding to emails. A case of ‘delayed
gratification’ instead? My world will not collapse if I do this. My mind
will feel all the clearer, less cluttered, for making mornings a
technology-free zone. I shall substitute my mouse for pen and paper,
although I really must do something about improving my handwriting,
which is atrocious. Even I myself cannot always decipher it.
4. Avoid negative people – the Jeremiahs of this world, who put a
damper on our delights and enthusiasms. Being a glass-half-empty
type myself, I have to be extra vigilant in order to stave off such folk.
They act as drains on our energies and self-esteem – beware!
Last year I joined up with the group Peer Action, who over the last 19
months have been reaching out to the HIV community and
empowering this particular group to revaluate their lives, recognise
their skill sets, and with the support of their peers get back into a
social routine or undertake a new project.
5. Make time for meditation. I have one CD
containing “six inspiring tracks of calming
ambient sounds and rhythms to soothe body
and mind”. And yes, it’s soothing enough. But
my favourite is a cassette, given to me by a
kind friend who helped me through the breakup of a long relationship. It consists of 20
minutes of guided meditation by a woman whose gentle, mellow voice
in itself represents the perfect antidote to any tensions.
As much as I’m going to treasure my A Round Tuit, I know that
reaching out and asking others for their support and help will be the
most valuable gift I’ll embrace this year.
These are long-term objectives of course, and it’s unlik