February 2016
GREYTON SENTINEL
SYLVESTER SAYS...
Greyton Sewage Woes Over?
Greyton residents may remember the
whisperings last year, when Mr Sif
Vuilbroek from Voorstekraal was engaged as the
Sewage Consultant for the greater Greyton area. There
was concern at the time that Mr Vuilbroek was merely
an Irrigation Contractor with little or no experience of
waste disposal. Nevertheless, he was favoured over a
number of more reputable Cape Town consulting firms.
Unbeknownst to the overwhelming majority of residents
Mr Vuilbroek tabled his much awaited report last week,
immediately preceding his regular poker evening. This
was convenient for all the players concerned and the
cover of darkness helped too. Sif’s report ‘The Straight
Flush’ was unanimously adopted by all. Drinks were
served, chips distributed, and the first hand dealt. A subsequent press release outlined ‘The Straight Flush’ thus:
1.
2.
3.
4.
The site identified for the new sewage works is
the present Market Square. It is centrally located
and will eliminate the high costs of lengthy pipe
runs.
The Saturday Market can easily be relocated to a
vacant plot in Voorstekraal that Mr Vuilbroek has
generously donated for this purpose.
The trees from the present market site will be
relocated to the Voorstekraal plot. In the event
that the transplant fails, corrugated iron shadeports will be erected.
Properties situated below Main Road will have to
continue using their Holding Sewage Tanks as
gravity will not allow their sewage to reach the
market site, and a pump system for these properties is deemed to be too costly to implement.
Sylvester has been informed that this ain’t no bluff, the
decision is final, and construction will begin before the
onset of winter. The requisite funding will come from a
rates hike of not less than fifty percent for each of the
next five years, and that this decision, is also final… or is
it?
…till next time
SYLVESTER
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