Greenville
SPRING 2024
Life
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David Claybourn Travis Hairgrove
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Canned Cranberry Sauce : The Jiggly Tradition We All Secretly Love
There are two kinds of people : those who swear by homemade cranberry sauce – simmered lovingly with fresh cranberries and orange zest as they whisper sweet nothings into the pot – and those who , like me , believe in the gelatinous perfection of cranberry sauce right out of the can .
Look , I respect the culinary craftsmanship that goes into homemade cranberry sauce . You ’ ve got your cranberries , your oranges , maybe some fancy honey drizzle . I ’ m sure it tastes amazing – like a farmer ’ s market in a bowl .
But you know what homemade sauce doesn ’ t do ? It doesn ’ t hold its shape like a majestic stackable tower of nostalgia . When canned cranberry sauce comes out with a shloop , you ’ ve suddenly got the most dignified blob on your plate .
People try to tell me it ’ s the lazy option but I like to think of it as efficient . Why mess with success ? You pop the top , give it a shake , and there it is : perfectly sliced discs of festive crimson delight , just waiting to be paired with your turkey , mashed potatoes and whatever other sides you ’ ve loaded up . Each slice maintains its own identity – proud and structured like a well-behaved side dish that doesn ’ t need to show off . Meanwhile , homemade cranberry sauce
Kent Miller
FROM THE EDITOR
has already dissolved into a swampy mess , touching your stuffing without permission .
And let ’ s talk about presentation . There ’ s something nostalgic about that ridged surface , like a tree trunk of Thanksgiving memories . Sure , your homemade variety looks more like a Pinterest photo – fruits glistening in a rustic bowl – but does it make you smile like that can-shaped beauty ? I didn ’ t think so .
Honestly , homemade cranberry sauce feels just a little too … ambitious .
By the time you ’ ve roasted the turkey , whipped the potatoes and burned the rolls ( let ’ s be real ), do you really have the energy to babysit cranberries in a pot ?
Canned cranberry sauce on the other hand is like an old friend who shows up at the party , knows its place and doesn ’ t demand attention . It ’ s the Thanksgiving side dish that understands you ’ re already overwhelmed and it ’ s here to make life a little easier .
So this year , when the homemade sauce fans start extolling the virtues of their artisanal fruit blend , just smile , nod and proudly place your canshaped treasure on the table . Let them have their fancy bowls . We cannedcranberry fans know where the real magic is .
Shloop – let the holiday begin .
GREENVILLE LIFE 4 HOLIDAY 2024