Green Child Magazine Summer 2015 | Page 19

- simple tips for setting effective - Screen Time Limits |by Kelly Bartlett Too often parents take responsibility for their kids’ screen-free time by structuring activities for them. They think that if kids are upset or bored without electronic entertainment, they must provide another activity for them to do. But this is just another form of rescuing. When parents are quick to step in with activities to distract kids from boredom or anger about not having their screens, they inadvertently rob children of the opportunity to develop problem solving skills and resilience. Turning off the TV is a challenge for many kids and families. Have faith in them to work through this “suffering” to feel more capable in managing their time. When you have faith in your children to handle their feelings, they will learn to have faith in themselves, too. It is important that parents do not make children suffer, but sometimes it is most helpful to “allow” them to suffer with support. Parents too often (in the name of love) want to protect their children from struggle. They don’t realize that their children need to struggle, to deal with disappointment, and to solve their own problems so they can develop their emotional muscles and the skills necessary for the even bigger struggles they will encounter throughout their lives. When allowing children to suffer ... 1. Express empathy. “You are really angry about not being able to play your video game right now. I understand.” 2. Avoid lectures. 3. Do not rescue. It’s OK to feel upset. 4. Let them know you have faith in them to figure out what to do. When a child “suffers” because she can’t watch the show she wants, allowing her to endure this experience can help her develop her resiliency muscles. She learns that she can survive the ups and downs of life, as well as the decision of what to do with her time when there are no screens to watch. The support parents can offer is to validate her feelings, but avoid solving the ultimate problem of what to do instead. Say, “I can see this is very upsetting to you. It can be 19