ages + stages | preschool
Keep It Fun
Set Limits Up Front
Assess Any Danger
Make a Safe Space for Wild Play
Be Calm But Firm
Cue Them to Settle
ages + stages | preschool
Roughhousing & Developmental Play
A kitten makes a sideways run to pounce on her unsuspecting sibling . Two puppies growl and nip each other , all the while thumping their tails with glee .
Roughhousing comes naturally to young animals ( even non-predatory animals ), so it should be no surprise our kids have the same instincts . “ Play fighting ” can actually help kids learn to deal with aggression . Plus , the movement and laughter help release built-up energy and generate oxytocin in the body . And rough play with dad has been linked to many social and emotional benefits for both boys and girls . Horseplay can also help kids learn smart risk-taking .
Here ’ s how to keep your rough-andtumble kids safe and respectful ( without you feeling like a full-time referee ).
Keep It Fun
Horseplay should always be good-natured . Make sure your child knows that when one participant stops enjoying it , it ’ s time to stop . Always feel free to check in with each child involved and make sure they ’ re still cool with it .
Set Limits Up Front
Establish what ’ s ok and what ’ s not . ( You ’ ll probably add to these rules over time .) Designate areas where wild play is allowed , as well as off limits areas where someone could be hurt or something could get broken . Let the kids make some of the rules so they ’ ll have ownership in the situation .
Assess Any Danger
There ’ s a difference between rowdy and dangerous . Sometimes kids are just loud and boisterous and it feels more chaotic than it actually is . Your instincts will tell you if there ’ s something to worry about , and if you ’ re not sure , check in with the kids and ask how they ’ re doing .
Make a Safe Space for Wild Play
Clear a space in a carpeted room ( or lay down blankets or mats ) for safe play . Pillows and other soft items
Be Calm But Firm
If the kids are spinning out of control , the last thing the situation needs is more worked-up energy . Take a deep breath and firmly state your intentions : “ Remember : no horseplay around the fireplace .” “ Can you see that your friend isn ’ t laughing anymore ? Let ’ s take a break and make sure everyone feels safe .”
Cue Them to Settle
The 5-minute notice works well here . Plan a more calm activity for preschoolers to shift into the next gear before asking them to focus on something else . Some parents may worry that roughhousing kids can get so riled up they ’ ll never wind down , but play researcher Anthony Pellegrini says , “ Some studies show kids are calmer and more ready for social play after a good rough-and-tumble .”
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