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Hana Haatainen Caye
Jenn writes: My husband tends to go overboard when it comes to buying gifts for the
kids. With the holidays coming up, I’m trying
to find a way to convince him not to do that
this year. Any suggestions?
the-game evening together, a “Get Out of Chores
Day” card… Be creative. Only the two of you
know what would really make your kids happy.
Then make special “experience” coupons and
wrap them the way you would any other gifts.
GG: Great question, Amanda. This is something I had to struggle with myself as my kids
were growing up. We always overbought and the
pictures we have of the piles of presents under
the tree are disgraceful! One of the problems was
that half of the things were seldom played with or
worn. Many times, it’s hard to break habits from
childhood. If your husband was accustomed
to lots of presents, he is just doing what comes
naturally to him. On the other hand, if he had the
opposite experience growing up, he may be overcompensating for what he feels he missed out on.
To make up for less gifts, try stretching the time
by taking turns opening gifts and really paying
attention to what each present is. Or, hide one
special gift for each child and have a scavenger
hunt to find the gifts. Plant clues around the
house and let everyone enjoy the hunt.
My best advice is to do a walk-through of your
home with your husband, pointing out what
you believe to be an excessive amount of stuff
your kids own. Show him rarely played with
toys. Count the number of stuffed animals each
child has. Mention the effect clutter has on your
moods. Help him to realize that love can be
shown in ways other than showering/smothering
the kids with gifts.
Put your heads together and come up with ideas
for some “experience” gifts – going to a special
show or movie, a day trip to the zoo, a pick-yourown-date-night-with-Dad coupon, a you-pick-
By coming up with creative solutions, you don’t
have to work as hard at convincing him that less
really is more. It will just happen. Good luck!
Caryn writes: My husband insists on saying
“Merry Christmas” to everyone and it embarrasses me. How do I get him to stop before he
really offends someone?
GG: My question to you, Caryn, is why does this
matter so much? The fact is that December 25th
is Christmas, regardless of one’s beliefs. Your
husband has every right to share this greeting. I
assume he’s not trying to offe