portrait of a
babywearing addict
I purse my lips, push them out slightly and
smile as agreeably as I can. The gesture is obviously mistaken for judgment.
“After all, you have your guitars and stuff.
This is my thing. It’s the same.”
She’s completely right. I continue nodding.
“I can’t believe you don’t understand,” her face
tightens into a red scowl. “You don’t have to
be an ass about it, Ryan.”
She says my name in the over enunciated way
an angry mother would. My nodding becomes more desperate. I want to hide.
“Whatever!” she bolts up from the red couch
and storms into the kitchen, “Now you’re going to write about this, aren’t you?”
“Don’t be silly,” I finally spoke. “I’d never do
that.”
While the preceding sentence was a blatant lie
the following is completely true:
I love that my wife is an avid babywearer, and I
support her in it. She feels stylish and beautiful while enjoying a closeness to our children.
I married Lynette because she’s passionate and
slightly off, and it was the best decision of my
life. So as I’m learning to deal with my wife,
the babywearing addict, I’d like to share these
steps with you:
1. Accept it.
They will buy, sell, and trade like a wild internet Turkish bazaar. It’s okay. They’re actu12
ally making friends
and keeping track of
money. If your wife
or partner has an
entrepreneurial bone
in her (or his) body,
then this just may
be the first time
they’ve gotten to
flex the muscles of
negotiating, building
a website, or understanding ecommerce.
2. Lie like a damn dog.
My wife has these wraps with cats printed on
them and others with little plus signs. They
look like little throw rugs to me. Do I tell her?
No. They’re all beautiful. I do tell her which
ones she should keep forever, because there
are some very cool ones.
3. Be involved.
Help with the emails. I’ve won wraps for her,
and I think that the reason for that happening
is because the companies see that a male figure is involved and want to reach out to that
demographic. I’ve been a hero quite a few
times for helping her out.
In the end, babywearing is an understandable
passion and hobby. It physically brings my
children closer to their mother. I make plenty
of jokes about it (that’s kinda my thing) but
there’s nothing more special than a mother
whose activities center around being an entrepreneur, more independent, stylish, and
loving.
Now if only I could figure out those rings...