Great Scot December 2019 Great Scot 158_December_ONLINE | Page 15

UPPER SCHOOL
MR TIM RAYNER
HEAD OF UPPER SCHOOL
TURNING 18, AND
MAKING INFORMED
DECISIONS
Legally, children become adults at the age of 18.
It is a significant milestone for young people and one
many eagerly anticipate. Driving on ‘P’ plates, the right
to vote, being allowed to own property and shares, and
even the right to drink alcohol or gamble all become
reality. It’s all very adult. And yet, as parents, we know
some children mature earlier than others, that young
brains continue to develop after this age, and that a
specific day on a calendar is a somewhat arbitrary point
to decide that a person is viewed differently and can
make adult decisions. Does a person change the day
after an 18th birthday? Of course not.
We all worry when our son takes off for the first
time on his own once he has passed his driving test.
The cost of bearing the high insurance premiums
pales into insignificance when we worry about possible
accidents. Driver education is important, clocking up a
significant number of learner hours is also, but trusting
our children to be safe on the roads, often while with
their peers, does seem like an act of faith.
Every year, we invite our attached police liaison
officer to speak to Year 12 about turning 18. Rights
and responsibilities are the focus of the meeting.
Warning boys about ‘hooning’, drink driving or
overloading cars with friends, together with an
objective legal perspective on the consequences of
doing these activities, does help focus minds. There
is also a discussion on relationships, parties and the
responsibilities that come with being 18. It’s a talk
where boys enter thinking they know all there is to
know, but leave surprised about how making the
wrong choices could lead to life-changing results.
Healthy relationships are important to all of us,
but as children become older, the decisions they
make regarding relationships can be critical. The
independence we give our children when they grow
older is readily taken, and can promote resilience and
sense of identity; however, we need to be mindful that
those decisions should be informed. Those parents
and Year 10 boys who attended the talk given by Brent
Sanders earlier in the year, as part of the Respectful
Relationships Day with MLC, were told how the law
defines consent in sexual relations. Young people were
advised how to navigate and read consent, to be aware
of the pressure that can be brought to bear, and to
be considerate of how their partner feels. Achieving
positive, successful and respectful relationships
is what we want for all our children, but we have
a responsibility to make sure they act wisely and
sensitively before they begin to make these decisions.
As boys grow older, they also have more access to
money, either through a part-time job or increased
allowance. Sometimes, how boys choose to spend
that money is not so wise. As tech-savvy young
people, accessing online entertainment and games
is almost second nature – the gambling industry is
well aware of this. Turning 18 allows boys who may
already have been playing betting games for fun, and
without money, to open accounts and try their hand
at gambling proper. We all know that the odds are
stacked against them, but being told that in itself does
not stop someone from trying to win.
By appealing to our boys’ sense of reason, by
using facts and simple mathematics, together with
compelling, often tragic, anecdotes and stories, two
speakers from Gamblers’ Help Eastern presented their
perspective of gambling to our Year 11 boys. Both
speakers were well qualified – one speaker counselled
adults who had gambling debts, the other had
worked in the gambling industry. Our boys left the
theatre more knowledgeable and, importantly, more
empowered, so they could make good decisions in the
future. Needless to say, the discussions on the topic
that followed in Tutor Groups were lively, interesting,
and informed.
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