CITY OF ARLINGTON | Grants Management Annual Report 2024 31
From Crisis to Confidence
Marva * began counseling at The Women ’ s Center on April 18 , 2023 . Recent marital problems caused her relationship with her husband to disintegrate .
“ He meant everything to me and loved me in a way that I never felt before . He was the love of my life , and I couldn ’ t see how my life could go on without him .”
A conflict between her son , her husband , and her son ’ s wife , caused her husband to move to another state , intending never to return . Her marriage was over and her relationship with her only son suffered . She was also dealing with an enormous amount of financial debt . When she came to The Women ’ s Center , she was depressed , crying daily and wanted to give up on life . Marva had already experienced a tremendous amount of loss in her life — her mother died of cancer when she was a young adult , her brother committed suicide , and she was let go from a job where she worked over 15 years .
She felt like she couldn ’ t endure another loss . The adversity she experienced growing up led to a need to be in control of things in her life . Marva felt like her marital issues were completely out of her control , which caused a significant amount of distress . She felt devastated and hopeless . Through therapy , Marva began processing the losses in her life using EMDR and CBT therapy techniques , which are evidence-based . She is learning healthy ways to grieve the loss of her marriage and cope with the deaths of her family members .
She has realized there were significant problems in her marriage prior to the conflict with her son . She is learning how to speak up for herself and set healthy boundaries with the people in her life . And , she is working on healing and repairing the relationship with her only son . During this time , Marva ’ s father passed away . Though it was another great loss for her , she has utilized the skills learned in therapy to help her process and work through her grief . She recently secured a second job and is now working towards decreasing her debt while gaining more financial stability . She no longer feels that her life will be over if her marriage ends . She stated ,
“ I have had to cry so many times , and this has been really hard , but I know my life isn ’ t over now . I have a new start . I ’ m finally — for the first time in my life — really learning who I really am , what I really like , and I ’ m finally doing things for me . I ’ ve never done that in my life ! I have always lived my life taking care of other people . I am finally taking care of me .”
Marva doesn ’ t feel she would have made it through the devastating losses in her life if it hadn ’ t been for the counseling services she received at The Women ’ s Center .
“ I can go without a lot of things , but I cannot go without my therapy every week . It has really changed my life .”
* Name changed for purposes of confidentiality