PPM: What has been the biggest thing you have learned from being a foster mom?
The biggest thing that Scott and I have both said that we have learned is but, for the Grace of God,
it could have been us involved in the system, and have our children taken away. Throughout our
journey, we went from a mentality of “how could anyone treat their child this way,” to thinking,
“no wonder they made the choices they did that got their children taken away.” Most of the
children that lived with us came from broken homes, where the parents were themselves raised in
neglectful, abusive, and addiction-filled homes. You hear the phrase all the time the apple doesn’t
fall that far from the tree and, unfortunately, we learned firsthand how correct that statement is.
Sometimes, we got to see a light go off in the parents’ head, and they actually took the steps
required to change the patterns of abuse that they had been subjected to all their lives. They
would work their case plan, and get their children back, thus the cycle of abuse stopped with them.
In other instances, the parents were never able to pull it together and change what they had always
known, so the children would then be placed in adoptive homes. God thought enough of Scott
and I to make sure we were raised in good homes where we were loved, taught what is right and
wrong, and led by example of how we are supposed to live. Not everyone is so fortunate, and the
cycle continues on with the next generation, and the next, and so forth and so on, until someone
takes the steps needed to change it.
PPM: What advice would you give anyone else thinking of going into foster care, especially from
the Christian perspective?
The main thing I would tell someone is to pray about it and make sure that God is leading them in
this direction, because it is challenging and a blessing at the same time. When anyone becomes a
foster parent, they have the potential to change someone’s life forever. They will
open their heart and their home to children and birth
parents, who will come in and out of their lives, and
often get their heart broken by circumstances beyond
their control.
A person must have the ability to love each child like
their own, but be able to keep in the back of their mind
that they are not their children at all. More often than
not they will love them and lose them as they watch
them move to another location or go back home. A
person must have a strong relationship with their spouse,
birth children, parents, friends, and neighbors as open
communication crucial. Each child placed in their home
will bring challenges, issues, and different outlooks that
they are not used to. And, developing a working
relationship with their social worker is crucial.
The second thing I would say is there is a huge need for
loving foster homes in this country, and it is a beautiful
journey that I would do all over again. But, only with
God at my side and the support of my amazing family,
church, and community.
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