GPI 2017 Australian Grand Prx | Page 164

MELBOURNE DIARY G oing from on your couch to the actual F1 paddock is a surreal experience. A place for the drivers, team personnel, the ultra-rich, ultra-connected, and media blowhards – in Mebourne - I was one of those blowhards. So with that in mind, I thought I’d keep a diary of just what went down at the Australian Grand Prix. Thursday Press conferences tend to be a bit hit and miss in F1 – usually, they’re dull, meandering affairs where drivers try their darndest to say nothing of consequence. Thankfully, the first one of the season provided something of an exception, mostly thanks to Fernando Alonso. He cuts a fascinating figure nowadays, and his joke about “equal engines” was particularly illuminating. It’s almost like he’s gone through the five stages of grief and finally reached acceptance, the whole situation seems comical to him, which is both good for his own sanity and a bad sign for his commitment to racing – at least with McLaren. Also Lewis Hamilton’s response that they “not [be] Honda” was priceless. Speaking of Hamilton, until you see it in person, you don’t get a real sense for how ostentatious his chains are. Like it’s legitimately distracting – you’re trying to gauge just how defeated Alonso is, but your eye keeps getting drawn to the guy who looks like he wandered off the set of a Migos music video. That said I do feel somewhat bad for Lewis. The amount of attention he gets from photographers can’t be easy to deal with. He smiles. Forty cameras go off. He frowns. Forty cameras go off. He raises an eyebrow. Forty cameras. He shifts in his seat to let out a sneak fart. Sixty cameras. Maybe he knows what he’s doing wearing all the jewellery after all. Also credit where its due to Lance Stroll, he handled himself well in his first ever press conference. I certainly wasn’t that composed at 18 – or now really, to be honest. Maybe if he can translate that calm to the track he won’t be a Maldonado-clone after all.