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HEALTH FOCUS
Divorce and Family Health : How to Minimize the Impact on Your Children
COURTESY BAPTIST HEALTH CORBIN Going through a divorce is hard — for you , your spouse , extended family , and friends . Perhaps most importantly , it can be very difficult for your kids . Dr . Jonathan Martin , Psychiatrist , Baptist Health Medical Group Behavioral Health , says there are steps that you can take to minimize the impact the end of your marriage has on your children . Dr . Martin stresses that it is important to help your children prepare for and adapt to these major changes . Here are some important considerations for helping your children ’ s emotional health during this time .
1 . Make a plan for when and how to tell your children about the divorce . What you don ’ t want to do is to blurt out the news in a moment of particularly deep anguish or anger and regret it later . Ideally , you and your spouse should sit down with your children and give them the news together . But either way , it ’ s important to emphasize that the divorce is not your children ’ s fault in any way , that both parents still love them , and that there ’ s no chance that you and your spouse will get back together . You should also tell your children that it ’ s understandable for them to experience and express
emotions like sadness , anger , fear about the future , etc ., and that you and your spouse are always available to talk with them about those emotions .
2 . Avoid discussing the cost of the divorce . Divorce is expensive , and not just in terms of money . There ’ s a significant amount of time , effort , and heartache involved in dividing a household , and potentially the loss of friendships and other relationships . Your children will come to realize that on their own , and you shouldn ’ t add “ costs ” to their worry list .
3 . Avoid fighting in front of your children . It can be challenging to find the time and space to have private
conversations with your spouse , but it ’ s important to your children that you do . And that means being truly removed from them . Muffled arguments behind a closed bedroom door can be just as emotionally damaging as shouting matches in front of children .
4 . Avoid talking negatively about your ex spouse in front of the children . You do not want to cause unnecessary and harmful feelings or attitudes from the children to your ex regardless of how devastated or angry you may feel . This is confusing to children and can cause more harm than good in their relationship they have
SEE DIVORCE , PAGE 14
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