looking for a definite yes . I ’ m a lion amid a pack of wildebeests on the African plains . I am a hunter amidst potential prey . Most will go about their night unharmed , at least by me .
I place the five girls entering the bar wearing the cocky look that comes from God given beauty into a category of maybes . They are pretty and they know it . As they flirt passed me , they are completely unaware of my disgust .
Stuck up Bitches !
In my disgust , I spit at the feet of one of the girls who reminds me of my past . Shocked by the brazen act of disrespect , the girl walks on without a word . I then move the whole group girls into the “ no ” category .
The two men following the girls offer a brief possibility . They are muscle bound and equally as arrogant , but it takes only a brief look into their eyes to know they too are in the “ no ” category . It ’ s always in the eyes . After a lifetime of fighting and six years as a bouncer , I can see in an instant , through their eyes , that these two over-confident men , slightly older than me , are not what I ’ m looking for . I ’ m seeking revenge , yes , but it must at least be sporting . Despite their swollen biceps and pecs , I can tell immediately that these two offer no challenge , so I look on .
I continue to distract myself by keeping my drink topped up and by reaching into my pack of smokes to always have a cigarette hanging from my mouth . The anger building inside of me is becoming too much to control , but just when I feel I ’ m about to explode with rage , I spot what I ’ m looking for .
The source of my relief is big , perhaps 6 ’ 6 and 270 pounds . His heavy beard and long hair can ’ t hide his arrogance . Three smaller men follow behind him like puppies as he makes his way through the front door . I can smell the cigar dangling from his mouth . Through the crowd he breezes past at the entrance , he truly does appear to be a giant . I could not be happier , but to be sure , I look into the man ’ s eyes . I have to be certain .
My gaze is penetrating . I have no illusions about who or what I am . I am a worthless piece of shit , and it ’ s impossible to ignore my eyes . Empty . Blank . Dark . As the giant turns to look at me , I see his eyes clearly , and I am certain . I know the face of a bully .
This giant is a man who is used to making other men feel small in his presence by the sheer intimidation of his hulking size and rugged appearance . The giant ’ s lip turns up in a sneer as he notices my cold eyes upon him . I can ’ t be bothered to hide the slight smile that turns the corners of my mouth . The giant passes me , followed by his puppies , but in an instant , both he and I know that before the night is over there will be a confrontation . I am relieved , and for the first time since I arrived , my jaw relaxes , but when I look up at the clock , I am dismayed to see it ’ s only 9:20 pm .
I ’ ve held off on this addiction as long as I can . It will be another ten minutes at least before any of the other bouncers arrive and , in an effort to hold out just a little while longer , I walk through the packed crowd to the shooter bar across the room .
The girl behind the bar is small and thin , with round fake breasts and a cowboy hat pulled over her long blond hair . She ’ s already happily drunk , pouring shooters for the waitresses and the people lined up at her bar . Her smile broadens as I step behind her bar and wait . Cindy , the shooter-bartender is sexy , which fills up her tip glass more than anything else . Cindy is married with a three-year-old son . In spite of that , she ’ s been trying to fuck me since I started working here four and a half months ago . Up to this point I couldn ’ t be bothered , but as I wait for Cindy