Meet the Mormons*
*queer Latter-day Saints
Evan Blake Jones
When we talk about queering a space, we are talking about disrupting the status quo and defying oppression. Having
experienced a history of discrimination and non-acceptance, the queer community has been forced to carve out its spaces in unlikely
corners. The internet has recently produced important opportunities for coalescence around shared experiences and identities. Queer
communities on Tumblr, Reddit, and Twitter have provided means of connection.
The connection that I am writing about is that of queer Mormons. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is known
for its unfriendly treatment of its LGBTQ members. This is the church whose members raised $20 million for a campaign supporting
an anti-gay marriage ballot proposition known as Proposition 8 in California in 2008. Former Church president Spencer W. Kimball
used words such as “vicious,” “heinous,” and “abominable” to describe homosexuality. Starting in the early 1970’s, under the
direction of then-president of BYU (and current first counselor in the highest governing body of the Church) Dallin H. Oaks, BYU
embarked on a crusade to purge its gay students from its campus that included interrogations, surveillance, and deceit. To this day,
children raised by gay parents are not authorized for membership in the Church until adulthood. As of 2015, Church members in a
same-sex marriage are required to have a mandatory disciplinary council called in their behalf, an action required only else for
serious offenses that include murder, incest, and sexual predation. Many of these councils result in excommunication.
The Church refused to give them a space so they made their own
Because of this hostility, queerness itself has become an act of defiance in Mormonism. But why do some queer members
of the Church choose to identify with an institution that has caused them so much harm? In the past year I have become close with
a very peculiar group of friends through the social media platform Twitter. Most of them met organically through the app while
using the platform to talk about their struggles as queer Mormons. Among these friends are gay women and men, bisexual women
and men, trans* individuals, and queer people of color. What these friends have in common in addition to their queer identities is a
continuing devotion to their Mormon faith.
Many queer Mormons choose to distance themselves from their church at some point in order to pursue the expression of
their identity, but the people in this group mostly have no intention of leaving their faith. Instead, they plan to make their own space
in a church that time and time again has rejected them. Many of them attend a congregation of BYU and UVU students together and
sit in the very front row of the pews. “We’re gonna go to church, we’re gonna sit on the front row, and we’re gonna make them deal
with us,” says Calvin, a BYU student and gay member of the Church.
From all this pain are a surprisingly few negative attitudes. Sprinkled into their tweets are mentions of Jesus, quotes of
scripture, and defense of Church teachings. Echoed within their circle are sentiments of fighting hate with love. “That’s literally
what Jesus did,” says one of them. They hope for change within the church, and most are optimistic about the future of their faith.
In the meantime, setting healthy boundaries with their church experiences is key to their mental health.
All of these individuals have faced rejection from family and friends and often their church in significant ways. One gay
BYU student recalls intense isolation after being collectively rejected by his close friend group upon coming out to them. His father
tells him he wishes he had never been born. Others are also grappling with parental rejection and disownment. One friend has been
excommunicated from his membership in the Church for his relationships with other men. Some, despite remaining celibate, live in
intense fear of BYU’s Honor Code Office which has the power to suspend and expel students based on claims from other students.
One was recently a victim of targeted retaliation involving a fraudulent Honor Code Office report and a fake Tinder account.
Through all of this, they refused to be silenced and they refuse to be denied access to what they hold sacred.
Commitment to the Church
The reason this group of friends puts up with injustices in their educational and religious experiences is because of their devotion
to their faith. Despite the history of discrimination in their church, they all feel connected to various degrees to the religious
experiences that they hold sacred. In their minds, “the Church” and “the Gospel” are separate entities. The former draws upon the
latter, but does not wholly represent it. Stanley Alvey, a gay member of the Church, describes his religious experience as such:
“I feel very much in the foyer of the Church. I would love to sit in the pews with the rest of the members, but my situation
really just puts me outside. I don’t get to participate the way everyone else does. But I can still hear the Gospel being taught
in the foyer and I still believe in it. I still love it and have a testimony.”
Through various levels of piety and disagreements on theology, they support each other. They understand each other. Most
people will never relate to their struggles and others will continue criticize their decision to stay in a homophobic church. But to
forge their own community despite years of systemic erasure is a form of bravery. To stand up for their beliefs and identities while
being belittled for who they are is a form of resilience. And to be able to find peace and solace in a space that so often actively
rejects their identity is the boldest form of defiance.