Let’s get something straight.
For the past 14 months - FOURTEEN MONTHS
- I have been the sole outpost of LBDGroup in
Perth.
Fourteen. Months.
That’s a lot of time to frock up in my many
little black dresses and take myself out for
exclusive dinners with - well, me, and discuss
my business issues with - yep, you guessed it...
Me, me, and that would be ME.
I did come up with some fairly innovative
solutions admittedly, but that was after a
bottle and a half of sauvignon blanc and in the
cold (sober) light of day, deciding to rebrand
LBDGroup as ‘Kate: The Black Dress of Destiny’
really didn’t have a future, although you can’t
deny, it has a nice ring to it as a potential
Lloyd-Webber musical.
But.
Good things come to those who badger Janine
Garner incessantly, saying at least twice a day
‘I think Perth is ready for LBD’ and ‘you know
when you were here for the wedding? Didn’t
you get the feeling Perth wanted LBD NOW???’
and ‘Janine, I swear if you don’t start LBD in
Perth within the next three weeks, I am going
to hold my breath until I turn blue - oh, and
corrupt both my hard dri ves, so that we can’t
get GLOSS out.’
( I didn’t actually make the last statement, but
it did happen. It was a nightmare, I still dream
about it, and in my quiet moments it haunts
me. I think it was payback for the ‘turning blue’
threat).
So, after said incessant badgering, and having
enough of childish behaviour from her actual
children, our Fearless Leader finally said (or
screamed) down the phone ‘FINE!!!! PERTH
CAN HAVE LBD!!! BUT YOU HAVE TO HOST
THE DINNER, BECAUSE THAT’S THE WAY IT’S
GOING TO BE, GOT IT???’
After I recovered my eardrums from their place
on the carpet, because boy, JG can really
make her point when she wants to, I skipped
around the room... and then realised something
horrifying.
‘I have to WHAT?’
‘You have to host the first dinner’ she replied
calmly, not seeing any issue at all, whilst I went
into a frenzy of clothes-rending and eyeballclawing.
‘But - I don’t do that. That’s your gig. I sit and
nod, and occasionally say something witty or
meaningful about writing, or social media, or
copyright!’
I could hear her smirking. I could hear it.
‘Welcome to responsibility. Fun, isn’t it?’
But.
As they say, all good things come to those who
wait.
This is absolute rubbish, by the way.
Here’s the thing.
Lois Lane doesn’t do responsibility. Lois
Lane does adventure, and excitement and
interviewing amazing people. LL is a free spirit
who can naff off with Superman at the drop of
a hat when she feels like it.