Features
J
CROSS RIVER STATE
AT A GLANCE
H ow we marry
ust like the states have
d i ff e r e n t r i t e s o f
passage, festivals,
music, dances, religion, so
does their marriage rite
differ. Which is our main
focus.
Marriage is a globally
recognized system of union
meant for the opposite sex,
but with the recent trend,
same sex marriages are on
the rise. It is consummated
following series of
monumental procedure as
practiced and understood
by the culture of the parties
involved.
Culture on the other hand is
the way of life of certain
people, it includes, family
ethics and codes of
conduct. Although culture
is dynamic and open to
change as the people
progress and come in
contact with different
groups.
As noted in the beginning,
there are many ethnic
groups and tribes in Cross
river state and there all have
different peculiar marriage
rites.
First of all, a man will have
to approach a lady he likes
and propose marriage to
her, if she agrees to his
proposal the intended
groom will now be
accompanied by his friends
and family to pay a visit to
the supposed bride's family
to declare their intentions
alongside some gifts for the
family, this gifts may
include drinks, either
alcohol or non - alcohol
beverages, cola nuts etc.
During this initial visit a
date will then be set for a
second visit, when a list of
the items to be purchased
for the proper rites will be
handed over to the intended
groom and his family.
Due to the cultural diversity
in the state, and differences
in marriage customs, we
will be narrowing it down
to how the people of Obudu
c o m m u n i t y m a r r y.
Although it's a general and
common knowledge that
traditional marriage rites
are usually conducted in the
home of the bride, the
people of Obudu take
exception to that as the rites
Traditional Procedures are carried out in the
of Marriage rites in Cross groom's compound, which
river state
signifies hospitality. They
believe there is no point
celebrating in her
compound while you're
welcoming her into yours.
The proper traditional
marriage rites in Obudu
then proceeds in this
manner. If the bride and
groom are of the same
cultural background and
community, that is if there
are both from neighboring
villages all traditional
requirements are fulfilled
in the bride's family
compound. The bride price
is paid, which is called
acceptance fee in the
Obudu community...The
fee is being paid to indicate
the intended groom's
family have accepted to
marry the bride...After
which a warm reception
takes places, with food and
drinks offered by the groom
and family. After this is
done, the bride is then
accompanied to her
husband's compound, this
is usually done at
midnight...from about
12am...To them it's an
abomination to take a bride
home during the day.
The traditional marriage
celebration proper takes
place in the groom's
compound at noon.
Now the big question
maybe when “A” culture
meets “B” culture who
gives up one culture for the
other? That is if an Obudu
man is marrying a Calabar
lady or from any other
tribe.....A meeting is
usually summoned to trash
out the differences. The
people of Obudu will argue
that a marriage ceremony is
a welcome party for the
bride and an announcement
to the groom's kindred that
he has brought home a
bride, while the Efik or
[other tribes] are of the
opinion that a marriage
celebration is not just a
celebration but a
performance of certain rites
to properly hand over the
prospective bride to the
indented groom, and until
this rites are performed, she
is not their wife yet. The
people of Obudu will then
agree to this and back off. A
date is then fixed for the
traditional marriage. And
the night before the
marriage ceremony is filled
with exciting activities that
gives birth to a successful
traditional marriage proper.